A:I Couldn't If I Tried (History of My Broken Heart reviews)

[Lord of Oats]

Lord of Oats - Nice moody intro. I like the big power section but feel like it's done too much in this song. The guitar sounds Sabbathy at times, which is a good thing. I think that this could be more powerful if whittled down to a shorter length. Songs don't have to be short, but this starts feeling long, to me. Rein in the vocals, then let them loose again.

Thanks for the input. You're right about the "power section," I'd say. I think if it hadn't gone on too long, at the beginning, it'd be more welcome the two times it comes back. Eh? Teasing is always better than dragging. The problem I run into with this track is that there's nothing I really want to cut out except the first repeat of the instrumental section. I think the length might be more bearable if the production and the vocals didn't suck. Melvin said a piece this long ought to be more structurally complicated, but good lord, there's no room for any more parts. What might practically be whittled away?

[Lord of Oats]

You may say ahead of time you don't like eggplant, but maybe if I cook it good enough you might actually like my version of it, so it is always worth a try.

I'm allergic to eggplant.

Do you have a problem with nightshades, in general, or just the eggplant? I've read that a lot of people have problems with certain amino acids in nightshade vegetables, and I'm starting to wonder if the aboriginal Americans were thinking clearly when they decided to domesticate such toxin-rich plants for food sources.

[Ross]

You may say ahead of time you don't like eggplant, but maybe if I cook it good enough you might actually like my version of it, so it is always worth a try.

I'm allergic to eggplant.

Do you have a problem with nightshades, in general, or just the eggplant? I've read that a lot of people have problems with certain amino acids in nightshade vegetables, and I'm starting to wonder if the aboriginal Americans were thinking clearly when they decided to domesticate such toxin-rich plants for food sources.

I don't think so. I have a fairly specific list of things that all elicit the same response, which is to cause the roof of my mouth to break out in hives for 4-5 hours (it's a terrible sensation). Walnuts, pecans, almonds, carrots (raw), raw potatoes have donethis to my hand, melon, eggplant. I have met one other person with the same response to the same exact list - for both of us it kicked in at puberty.

[Lord of Oats]

lord of oats - i can't make it through this song, at the start with the too-high-levels guitar i was sure i'd like this, but the singing is painful

more later...time to catch a ride to the damien rice show

Boo on not letting the work speak as a whole. But thanks, anyway. Anything by Damien Rice is certainly better than this.

[Lord of Oats]

I'm allergic to eggplant.

Do you have a problem with nightshades, in general, or just the eggplant? I've read that a lot of people have problems with certain amino acids in nightshade vegetables, and I'm starting to wonder if the aboriginal Americans were thinking clearly when they decided to domesticate such toxin-rich plants for food sources.

I don't think so. I have a fairly specific list of things that all elicit the same response, which is to cause the roof of my mouth to break out in hives for 4-5 hours (it's a terrible sensation). Walnuts, pecans, almonds, carrots (raw), raw potatoes have done this to my hand, melon, eggplant. I have met one other person with the same response to the same exact list - for both of us it kicked in at puberty.

Well, there's one other nightshade in there, but hell if I know. I see a bit of a tree nut problem, too. But raw carrots? That seems like a total wild card. For now, I'll file it under bizarre, but someday, I'll get to the bottom of this. You know, as soon as I've completed my studies in food science/biochemistry/genetics. Oh, and I'll need DNA samples from you and this other person.

[Rabid Garfunkel]

... to cause the roof of my mouth to break out in hives for 4-5 hours (it's a terrible sensation).

Which is extra-super bad for a person who plays breath-driven instruments...

Oh Dominar o' the Oats, "aboriginal Americans"? Are you so infused with the dreaded PC, or do you have an Anthropology degree? What about the Bering land bridge? We live in a land of immigrants... from the very start of time.

Yes, Virginia, Rabid's drunk and fiesty.

No one is owed, or obligated to do for anyone here. If one chooses to review, or not to review, then that is what they shall do. If they choose to say "Not my thing" (and aside from Klownhole or Octothorpe, I think I'm damned well up there in receiving THAT sort of review) then They are acknowledging that entry whether or not they enjoy it.

They listened, and made up their own mind about it.

[Steve Durand]

I think I'm damned well up there in receiving THAT sort of review)

Ha, ha. Yep, you're one of the people that a lot of the time I just don't get. So, I don't know how to provide any kind of relevant suggestions.


Steve

[Lord of Oats]

Lord of - good intro

Thanks. I'm assuming that means everything else blows. I'm not clear on exactly what "intro" refers to.

[Lord of Oats]

Oh Dominar o' the Oats, "aboriginal Americans"? Are you so infused with the dreaded PC, or do you have an Anthropology degree? What about the Bering land bridge? We live in a land of immigrants... from the very start of time.

Nah, man, fuck PC. I'm not for softening language; I'm for accuracy. I'm not for calling people Indians if they're not from India. It's not so much that it could be offensive as much as the idea that it can be confusing, and is, to have two totally different sets of people with one name. And Amerindian just sounds silly. There's no reason to even acknowledge Columbus' mistake.

ab·orig·i·nal
1: being the first or earliest known of its kind present in a region

Notice I didn't say "Native American." That's equally upsetting. I know that it's pretty likely that no humans were indigenous to this continent. The 'land of immigrants' thing doesn't really make a good case for European imperialism and warmongering, but I'm not too sorry that I ended up here, nor would I want to deny anyone else the opportunity to live here.

[Lord of Oats]

Lord of Oats
Lots to like here - great intro, good energy, Trickster X vocal inserts. The breakdown is great. Not enough space for the drums and vocals in many spots, and it sounds muddier than I prefer at those points.

It's a toss up between Ross, Paco del Stinko, and Rabid Garfunkle. Need to listen through on speakers, as well.

Wow, a mostly positive review. Thanks! It's nice to have it heard and reviewed for what it is. I was fairly proud of the breakdown, more so than a lot of the other parts, anyway. All that said, I'm glad I'm not contending for the vote. You're right; the mix is a muddy disaster. I'll work on that.

[veGetar Ianra Ge]

Lord of Oats
Lots to like here - great intro, good energy, Trickster X vocal inserts. The breakdown is great. Not enough space for the drums and vocals in many spots, and it sounds muddier than I prefer at those points.

It's a toss up between Ross, Paco del Stinko, and Rabid Garfunkle. Need to listen through on speakers, as well.

Wow, a mostly positive review. Thanks! It's nice to have it heard and reviewed for what it is. I was fairly proud of the breakdown, more so than a lot of the other parts, anyway. All that said, I'm glad I'm not contending for the vote. You're right; the mix is a muddy disaster. I'll work on that.

It's tough to hear you bashing yourself all the time, man. It's cool to make music that everyone hates sometimes, but you can't hate it too or it loses its appeal. Make something that you like so that you can agree with people when they talk about enjoying it.

[Sleazy_D]

Add - Well written, and simple. Like the recording

Andre - Vocals are hard to hear and understand. Mixing is just a hair off (the clean electric is too loud, and the bass "thumps" from the acoustic are more prominent that I would like. Tambourine isn't keeping good time.

Audiovideointercourse - I wet myself on your intro. Might need to add some content towards the high frequency side of the sonic palette to offset the massive beat.

Billy's Little Tip - Awesome intro. Solidly built and recorded. Kudos for resurrecting slap back echo. Maybe the cymbals could have been just a little louder, and the vox could have been a little tighter. Great ending.

Blues train blues in D - The guitar recording is bad. Mic positioning could be a whole lot better. The vocals are not good, and they occasionally clip what sounds like the Mic input to a computer. Overall, not a very good offering.

Bushido Stylus - The beat has a good concept, but with something that simple, it has to really carry a whole lot of sonic weight. It doesn't... the kick lacks force, and the snare is just weak. The vocals are too naked, and don't match the sound of the back-beat. I gotta say that I do like the concept a lot.

Embers of Autum - Everything being panned left made me think my speakers were broken. The vocals sounds too out there. If they were flawless, maybe it would work, but not in this incarnation. The "oooos" were fantastically done, though.

Hans - Wow. Nice touches with the horns and harmonies. The vocals are a little buried for me, but still well done. I think judicious use of compressors in this would really bring it too life.

Hell Yeahs - Drum recording is good. Vocals could be a little more up front, otherwise a good mix, and a good song.

KB Bren - The 12 string sounds pretty good. There's something odd about the drums. The vocals don't sound powerful, and maybe a little overly wet. Electric Guitar sounds damn fine. I can't feel the bass.

Klown Hole - Vocals are buried. Drums were so close to being perfect, just the toms weren't massive. Maybe the sounds was a bit to open. I don't know after listening for a while, it just seems like am instrumental that's not going anywhere.

Kristin - OK, I'm impressed at the production on the beginning. I think your bandpass filter effect was set too limited, a slightly wider range would have been better, IMO. The vocals are mixed well, and have a good sound, but they're not on key. Damn shame, this had some really good possibilities.

Lonbobby - Wow. I like it. I guess my only criticism is that I'd EQ a little more high end (6K+) in. I love the bass line.

Band with song that was 7:29, and undisplayable name - Holy compression artifacts, Batman! Mix wise, it's good. The overall sound just lacks refinement. The guitars are harsh, and your vocals... dammit, I just hate the damned compression SO MUCH.

MC Eric B - Great Piano. Bad vocals, Problem is they're taking up the sonic space as the piano, so it's hard to hear them. The detuned vox bring great ire to me.

Melvin - The recording lacks polish, but damn if it's not a good tune. The snare is a little loud. Something doesn't mesh with the vocals in the mix. Otherwise, pretty good.

Paco del Stinko - Suddenly, I want to do coke and fuck hookers. I like this tune. Guitar sounds is great, and so is the song composition. The vocals and drum recording could use love (tighten those snares), but whatever.

Rabid Garfunkel - If this song was played for 2 days on continual repeat for me, I would probably pick up a random psychosis. I think you got what you wanted out of this song, but it kinda makes me angry.

Ross Durand - I can't really fault this song. Well recorded, well composed. Maybe it could have used some cleanup in the last verse. Perfect reflection of the style. It's just kinda generic.

Senza Valore - Nice. Great production. The vocals bring this down a notch, though. That sample seems to get a lot of use, though. I just really love that verse hook. Actually, by the end of the song, I hate that sample.

Sheail - Good production work, but the vocals, although mixed well, aren't great. The guitar work is very good, as are the drums. I like the shift to the major key.

Slit Tear Duct - The vocals blow. Otherwise, good track. Well recorded, and sounded cohesive. I like the ending.

Tig - Very well recorded instruments and mixed. Vocals are not as good. It's well done, but it's just not a very interesting song to me.

Veggie Rage - It's got a good "deep cut" kinda feel. I like it, but the vocals could be tightened up. All the instruments sound great. The harmonies really work.

The weakest Suit - Buried Vocals. Guitar seems too out front. The snare sound is weak... drums are also a bit off time in spots.

Tough call in the end... Lonlobby or Audio Video Intercourse...

[KB Bren]

Lord of - good intro

Thanks. I'm assuming that means everything else blows. I'm not clear on exactly what "intro" refers to.

Thinking back, I was refering to the song intro before the mayhem started (to me). Sometimes, I find it better to not review on personal taste because it is just my opinion and I'd rather say little than just foolishly bash a song.
KB

[Lord of Oats]

Lord of - good intro

Thanks. I'm assuming that means everything else blows. I'm not clear on exactly what "intro" refers to.

Thinking back, I was refering to the song intro before the mayhem started (to me). Sometimes, I find it better to not review on personal taste because it is just my opinion and I'd rather say little than just foolishly bash a song.
KB

Well, I try to use the same strategy. I wasn't sure. If it's not your style, I guess it's bad even if it's not. But this one's bad either way.

[Caravan Ray]

This debate is silly. Nobody owes anybody anything when it comes to writing reviews. If I hate your song after 4 bars, I've already lost 10 seconds of my life that I won't be getting back. Why on Earth would I compound that injustice by listening to the whole song and trying to come up with constructive criticism? If I were a restaurant reviewer and some joint served me cat turd rigatoni, I certainly wouldn't clean my plate and make notes about the consistency and saltiness of the turds.

...and to continue the analogy - suppose I send that meal back and ask for something a little less "cat-turdy", and the chef sends out a beautifully made ratatouille. My dining companions enjoy it immensely, for it is perfectly made with the finest ingredients - but I don't like eggplant. Just a personal thing - but eggplant turns me off. Do I write a review and say " the ratatouille was shit - it tasted like eggplant"? Or is it better to just acknowledge that since I don't like eggplant, I am really not qualified to make any meaningful comment on the subject of the chef's ratatoiulle other than to say it isn't really something that I would want to eat again, but that is probably due to a personal bias.

If you'd listen to the dish without eggplant then say so!

Just realised I'd confused my European vegetable dishes - I was actually thinking of moussaka. You can possibly make ratatouille without eggplant, but you can't make moussaka without eggplant. If moussaka is a rap song, eggplant is the lyrics. If moussaka is a country song, eggplant is the hat.

You may say ahead of time you don't like eggplant, but maybe if I cook it good enough you might actually like my version of it, so it is always worth a try. Remember, a mind is like a parachute, it only functions when open.

- Eric

Ahh yes, Grasshopper, you speak with wisdom - it is true that the chef, like the songwriter, has many ways to prepare his eggplant.

He may make his eggplant all soft and mushy, like babaganoush. It is palatable to the very young and easily digestable for the elderly. It is also though, sadly bland and unsatisfying. Or he may infuse it with firey spices to create the far more interesting Brinjal Pickle! He may even try to pretend it is something new by referring to it as "aubergine" - but never quite hiding the fact that is is indeed just the same old eggplant served up with a different name.

[Ross]

Congrats Chris and Phil!

Oh and bushido, too.

[Heather. Redmon.]

Congratulations BLT and Wages, you deserved the win! This was a very close fight indeed. Congrats to Melvin too for coming in 2nd with us! (yes, we share 2nd, not 3rd/4th in my opinion)

[jackfrost]

wow. wages and BLT tie the friend flood.

[Lord of Oats]

Congratulations, BLT and Wages!

Melvin, Hell Yeahs, Add, here's looking at next time! So close!

Bushido Stylus, I hope you get shot. And fatally wounded.

Who are the three <strike>lunatics</strike> nice people that voted for me?

[Rabid Garfunkel]

Thanks to the mystery voters, yo. And congrats to the front runners! Go Billy's Little Wages!

[Lord of Oats]

Congrats Chris and Phil!

Oh and bushido, too.

Hey, cool avatar! It's an upgrade, anyway.

[veGetar Ianra Ge]

A deserving win, BLT! If I had three votes, you'd have gotten one.

Melvin needs some kind of "most second place finishes" award. Consistency is more impressive than random wins.

Bushido, I can only assume that you have an small army of nerdcore friends that thought it would be cool to vote for the only guy they knew. Although....that's not really fair of me to say. Just because I think your song is boring and uninspired doesn't mean that 10 other people did.

As for myself, I clearly fell into the "not good enough to get positive or negative votes" category with the most of the rest you guys. Oh well! It's exciting to be officially part of the process now!!!