ONE DOLLAR BOB!!!! (Brand New Car Reviews)

[EightLeggedOedipus]

Before voting for Deshead, I will give you poor mortals a chance to grab the vote by actually listening to your drivel for a minimum of 45 seconds. Songs listened all the way through get a

Andy Balham
--- Loose and outta tune. ---

Baron Von Smith
+++ Nice progression. I always dig a 3/4 arpeggio over a 4/4 beat. +++
--- Singing needs a lot of practice. Rhymes soudn predictable ---

Brick Pig
+++ Fun blues. +++
/// Reverb too deep on bass (right ear) although I may be wrong. Might also be the flangey verb on the snapping. Vocals leave much to be desired. ///

Deshead
+++ Drums are the perfect backing to a sweet somber Des tune. +++
--- car/far rhyme again ---
+++ Slowly building solo in right ear before full binaural kick-in. OMG coda/outro +++

Desolation Radio
--- Reminds of everything I DON'T like about the drums on the new NIN; reptitive loop with no swing and no velocity variation. Numbing. Suckage supreme by vocals ---

Explino!
/// I guess it's kind of punk for the guitar to not be on time with the drums. ///
--- Singing sounds like the parts of Ken's voice I dislike ---
+++ Chord progression sounds like the part of punk I do like. +++

Hans Gruber: Ultimate Villain
+++ Cool piano breakbeat grrove +++
--- Two voices do not necessarily equal harmony. They should be two different notes that sound GOOD together. Free bonus: STATIC ---
/// Delay on acoustic lead is crappy but it works for the track. ///
+++ Harmonica +++

The Hell Yeahs
+++ OK, this totally captures the spirit of what i expected from this fight. Plus the vocals are awesome, lead and background. +++
--- Mix is weird. EQ is very very MID except for lead vocal which is quite full. I'd generally expect the opposite for a hyer-aggressive track like this ---

Hostess Mostess
+++ Massive contender. Thsi is Hostess taking soem damn chances. The Patton-esque hardpanned percussion is awesome. +++
--- OK we get a little too cacophonous at the 2:20 point. It's that right ear monotone. What was that take about? ---
/// Should've gone to a sparse break by 2:50 before returning to full mode ///

King Arthur
/// If there ever was a MIDI bar where virtual synthesizers have a drink on a Saturday, this is the song that would play there. While the drums are decently programmed, it stills screams "robot!" ///
+++ Solid lead guitar all the way through. Dead Milkmen nod. +++

LMNOP
/// The acapella that is as well produced but inexplicably less appealing ///

Lonbobby
--- Who's poking the tupperware in the right ear? ANd oh god why didn't you warn me about the autotune? I hate that. ---
+++ Aside from those two thigns, it's a quite a good song. +++

Luke Henley
+++ Oh that's bad-ass how you cough and cut out. Fuckign balls, man +++
--- The experimental scraping-against-the-mic noise and the "happy" sample don't at all mask that it's a simple Sappy Song Played Poorly On A Cheesy Keyboard. ---
/// But it's a pretty good SSPPOACK. ///

Minty Handy
--- A decent song, but I'm disappointed because I know you can do way better. Delivery is nasal---

Motor Monkeys
--- far/car ---
/// An OK rock track, but nothing grabs me. ///

Noise Brigade
--- I think you wrote this same song a couple weeks ago and I insulted it then. ---

Posi Traction
+++ Hooked from the first step +++
/// Vocals are OK, but really sounds like the guitarist is filling in since yoru last singer got arrested and you've been "auditioning" for two years. ///
+++ Nicest little solo I've heard on here since I think Hoblit a while back +++

Ross Durand
--- Open mic GnG trash ---

Steve Durand
+++ The calypso Durand swings in with a hot horn-driven track. +++
--- I was just getting over the queasy feelign from the fourheaded nerd attack when it popped back up again. I like that you're experimenting, but it didn't pan out on the vocals this time. No pun intended ---

Titans of Eklekto-clash
--- I'm not going for a ride with you after all that NyQuil you drank ---
+++ Oh shit that was totally unexpected. Awesome. Oh and then the jazz with the added noise is surrogately ruling my total dominion!. +++

Tuba Toothpaste
+++ Fun poppy blues +++
--- car/far. Solo has some serious timing issues ---
/// I think you really need a decent condenser mic. ///
--- Song is really tripping over the beat somewhere around the second chorus. ---

Um, Hostess or Deshead. OK, still Deshead by a hair.

[Andy Balham]

i'd be curious to hear you do a song with just straight notes on the bass, guitar, and vocal line.

Now we're getting somewhere. I just might try that.

J$ has been tasked with kicking you in the nuts every time he sees you until things sound better.

Better to whom?

He's like a hitman - for nuts. Your nuts.

I suspect you might need to employ a hitman who is slightly less easily pleased.

[boltoph]

Posi Traction
+++ Hooked from the first step +++
/// Vocals are OK, but really sounds like the guitarist is filling in since yoru last singer got arrested and you've been "auditioning" for two years. ///
+++ Nicest little solo I've heard on here since I think Hoblit a while back +++

It was I, in a semi conscious state, playing the part of both singer and guitarist, all at once. HANK. played the drums and my friend Gampa was on the bass. All done within 15 minutes. It was a lot of fun. Thanks for the reviews. I voted for Deshead too. ROK!

[Noise Brigade]

Noise Brigade
--- I think you wrote this same song a couple weeks ago and I insulted it then. ---

just because the two songs i've submitted in my run as a songfight artist happen to be mainly about cars or situations involving cars doesn't mean they're the same song. thanks for the insightful review. no hard feelings.

[Heather. Redmon.]

Before voting for Deshead, I will give you poor mortals a chance to grab the vote by actually listening to your drivel for a minimum of 45 seconds. Songs listened all the way through get a

Jerk

[blue]

J$ has been tasked with kicking you in the nuts every time he sees you until things sound better.

Better to whom?

ME! Duh.

[Heather. Redmon.]

Wow! I have listened to everything, so many different styles. Reviews to come sometime this week

Ok, so I lied... I totally ran out of time this week.

But, a few of my favorites this week are:

Hostess Mostess because a capella is hard to do right. I love the layering of all of the parts, this is well sung and recorded. You put a lot of time into this and it shows! Great job!

Explino! because it rocks! The weird effects and noises are great and work well within the song.

LMNOP because I knew it was doo-wop from the get go! The lyrics are great and the performance is excellent. It's not a style you run into a lot these days, especially on song fight, and I welcome it!

King Arthur because it's got a great guitar sound, fun lyrics and great vocals for this style/genre. King Arthur deserves more credit and I am giving him some!

Pretty much all of the songs in this fight were good - great. Sorry I didn't have time to mention everyone.

oh, and Deshead... I understand the appeal of your song, the great production and whatnot... I just thought it was too polished... but that's just me. When I read that you were going for a Hatful of Hollow feel, I was like, huh, I like the Smiths, they are my favorite, but I'm not hearing it in this song. Maybe it's just that you are big time competition or something....

[MintyHandy]

Wow, ELO -- bad mood this week. Something bothering you?

[Andy Balham]

J$ has been tasked with kicking you in the nuts every time he sees you until things sound better.

Better to whom?

ME! Duh.

And how would I know what sounds better to you? And why would I care?

But, for the sake of experimentation, my next solo song will feature diatonic chords, simple drums and a root notes only bassline. I shall be fastidious in my tuning of the instruments, but the vocal cannot be guaranteed. I hope it brings delight to all.

[j$]

Why don't you two get a room?

j$

[deshead]

I like the Smiths, they are my favorite, but I'm not hearing it in this song.

Heh, God forbid I use my Morissey voice

More than the feel of the song, I meant the layered, jangly guitars at the end. I had an epiphany when I realized how many guitar tracks Marr laid down for What Difference Does it Make.

[LMNOP]

King Arthur deserves more credit...

I second that. I think I said good things about it back in my reviews but the song grew on me throughout the week. Some really clever lyrics in there and I love how it hangs on the V at the end of the break for twice as long as most folks would.

[Brick Pig]

....First impressions, I'm thinking Deshead is probably going to take the prize....

Upon further consideration, I have cast my vote this week for The Hell Yeahs. As I orignally said, I think Deshead did a great job. But it was T.H.Y. that stuck in my mind all week, so I gotta give credit where it's due.

Good fight, everyone.

[boltoph]

Wow! I have listened to everything, so many different styles.

Ok, so I lied... I totally ran out of time this week.

That just kinda sux, I mean fine not to review but you didn't even listen to the songs? Hey HANK. why did you give them the pleasure of an actual review? I wish I hadn't.

[HANK.]

Yeah, WTF? You guys have time to read them and comment back to them, but don't have time to listen and type something quick? That just sucks.

[HANK.]

I revise my review.

The Hell Yeahs:
- OK song, but they get me about as psyched as breaking a chainsaw on a hard knot. Like a one way street.

[j$]

Wow! I have listened to everything, so many different styles.

Ok, so I lied... I totally ran out of time this week.

That just kinda sux, I mean fine not to review but you didn't even listen to the songs? Hey HANK. why did you give them the pleasure of an actual review? I wish I hadn't.

That's not what Heather said. I mean, if you're gonna moody because people are saying they've changed their minds and are going to vote for HY song not PT song, fine, but Heather is clearly referring to the part of her statement WHICH YOU EDITED OUT ....

Bah, that riles me - why not just accuse Heather of killing your pet goat while you're at it? Cheap shot. Beneath you.

(heather actually typed originally:
"Wow! I have listened to everything, so many different styles. Reviews to come sometime this week " [my emphasis]

Then

"Ok, so I lied... I totally ran out of time this week."

Read that how you will. )

[boltoph]

That's not heather said. I mean, if you're gonna moody because people are saying they'll vote for HY song not PT song, fine

Bah, that riles me - why not just accuse Heather of killing your pet goat while you're at it?

Huh? Who said this had anything to do about votes or goats? Do you really think that I think Posi Traction deserves the win? She said she listened to all the songs and was going to do reviews, then complained because Hank didn't give her a full review so Hank comes back here and reviews proper. I think your just in platonic love or something and feel the chivalric need to fight for a certain someone's honor.

[j$]

Ok, so I am confused.

Why did you say this then: "That just kinda sux, I mean fine not to review but you didn't even listen to the songs? Hey HANK. why did you give them the pleasure of an actual review? I wish I hadn't."

One of us must be on drugs. it's the only explanation. Apologies if I am misunderstanding you...

[boltoph]

I am griping because Heather complained that one person didn't give her a full, front and center review, and then she goes and only reviews not even half the songs. I thought we were all sort of under obligation to do reviews. But even if not, that's fine but if yer not going to do reviews then don't complain to someone when they don't review you.
I feel like I must be posting to someones lawyer. yeah, I'm on drugs. and so are you. Endorphins, brain chemistry, etc.

[j$]

With you now. Apologies for leaping down your virtual throat; as certain people can attest, one of my numerous bug-bears is quoting people out of context.

j$

[WeaselSlayer]

I just drank half a bottle of Ny-Quil and both of you look beautiful today.