The case against Coldplay

deshead · Post by **deshead** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 7:03 pm

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/05/arts/ ... nd&emc=rss

...Coldplay, the most insufferable band of the decade.

Heh.

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:32 pm

copy and paste the text of the article here. (so we don't all have to sign up to read the article)

Tonamel · Post by **Tonamel** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:04 pm

Get a login/password from Bug Me Not. Always a useful resource.

deshead · Post by **deshead** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 7:19 am

Sorry about that. I changed the link in the original post so it no longer requires a login (thanks to the New York Times Link Generator.)

Articles excoriating Coldplay are a dime a dozen, but this one is well written, funny ("...the lyrics can make me wish I didn't understand English",) and on the nose about the things that make Coldplay so invidious.

For example, they're poster boys for the woes of the recording industry: The EMI Group is the third largest record label in the world. That their stock price could swing on the fortunes of a single band is ludicrous. And yet, it's perfectly emblematic of the state in which the industry has placed itself by forgoing the active development of new talent to focus on building a brand. We were virtually guaranteed the arrival of this "supergroup" skilled at creating inoffensive sterile amalgams of their influences, radio pablum so void of soul it instantly renders listeners apathetic to the dreck that now passes as pop.

Though insipid as their music is, what I most despise about Coldplay is the fatuous ramblings of their lead singer, both in his lyrics (must every bloody song ask a question of the listener?) and in his public statements. On VH1 recently, Chris Martin offered this tribute to the asinine: "I think shareholders are the great evil of this modern world." Uh, is that all shareholders, or just the ones who don't own your self-indulgent wank fest of a back catalog?

sparks · Post by **sparks** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:00 am

Say, it wasn't enough to emulate Yorke's music, he had to take a stab at that style of political commentary, too. "You know, the only real problem with the world is money. Blah blah blah, idealism, blah blah."

Adam! · Post by **Adam!** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:38 am

I don't know anything about the band, their talent, their politics, the lead singer or his political affiliations, because I'm not the world’s biggest Coldplay fan. But I do know two things: their new single sounds like their old single, and they make the dullest music I've ever heard on popular radio.

jack · Post by **jack** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:51 am

i not only agree with everything Deshead said, but i'd also buy a Deshead CD over any Coldplay CD. any day.

Future Boy · Post by **Future Boy** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:02 am

I love the picture of the guitarist who's "been influenced by Coldplay" because he looks like he's in pain.

j$ · Post by j$ » Tue Jun 07, 2005 9:20 am

And all this just proves their iconic status, of course ...

They're fine enough. I'd rather listen to them than say, The Bravery or the Libertines. And actually you're all very smug for a continent that enforced Limp Biskit and Linkin Park on the world.

And as for idealism, Sparks, I'd rather see people trying and failing to make things better, than sitting around using cynicism as an excuse for not even trying in the first place -it's the battle that makes it worthwhile!

Kamakura · Post by **Kamakura** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 3:40 pm

Everyone clamours for their fifteen minutes, and when they finally get it, it seems inevitable that they get verbally kicked in the teeth, balls, and other soft bits.
A salutary warning to all wannabees.

I like Coldplay. I would rather listen to them than a 90% of the dross I hear on the radio.

jack · Post by **jack** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:16 pm

i wouldn't go so far as to say that i hate coldplay, but there is certainly nothing special about them at all, and i could easily call out numerous people from this site that i would deem more talented.

and when you go off and marry an actress that loves to see her name in the paper, and all you do is bitch and moan about the press in your face, it makes most people have little pity for a bloody fucking rich whiner.

coldplay is a marketer's wet dream. they write easy to digest arrangements, with lots of emo thrown in for good measure. they are bland, white, and harmless. they bridge the gap between the boy-band and the edgy-emo-rock-band perfectly. they have a big demographic. which is why they make so much money.

j$ · Post by j$ » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:06 pm

Hey, it's 'Flock of Seagulls' all over again. Damn haircut bands etc etc

I guess it's how they're marketed - and how they reach your market - over here, they were pretty big long before the Gwyneth episode (I don't know if that's the same in the states) and they have more or less earned their stripes.

Sure, they are simple enough to indentify but there is something more in their music, little bits here and there, what they say in interviews, the clumsy passion that the lead singer displays, and his love of music...

like the very fact that there's a new song on the album built around a sample from Kraftwerk's 'computer love' ... doesn't matter whether it works or not (I dunno haven't heard it), the very fact they would consider doing it sets them apart from those boy bands and emo bands, imo Jack ....

don't get me wrong, i don't particularly love them - I don't have any of their records, but as Kam said as radio fodder they are better than 90% of what we get over here ...

j$

Kamakura · Post by **Kamakura** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:18 pm

jack wrote:Coldplay is a marketer's wet dream. they write easy to digest arrangements, with lots of emo thrown in for good measure. they are bland, white, and harmless. they bridge the gap between the boy-band and the edgy-emo-rock-band perfectly. they have a big demographic. which is why they make so much money.

Though I wouldn't call them bland, you're bang on. They've fulfilled 'The American Dream.'

If we were honest wouldn't we all admit we're just a tad... Envious?

jack · Post by **jack** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:25 pm

Kamakura wrote:
jack wrote:Coldplay is a marketer's wet dream. they write easy to digest arrangements, with lots of emo thrown in for good measure. they are bland, white, and harmless. they bridge the gap between the boy-band and the edgy-emo-rock-band perfectly. they have a big demographic. which is why they make so much money.
Though I wouldn't call them bland, you're bang on. They've fulfilled 'The American Dream.'

If we were honest wouldn't we all admit we're just a tad... Envious?

heh, in retrospect, the same could have been said about 4 lads from liverpool back in the early sixties.

envious? i'd like some of their money sure. the fame i could care less about.

blue · Post by **blue** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:26 pm

deshead wrote:The EMI Group is the third largest record label in the world. That their stock price could swing on the fortunes of a single band is ludicrous. And yet, it's perfectly emblematic of the state in which the industry has placed itself by forgoing the active development of new talent to focus on building a brand.

does the price of a stock always represent the value of a company?

no.

is EMI really not signing any other bands just to concentrate on coldplay?

oh sure, that's why they only run about fifty umpteen fucking trillion labels. i'm sure that there's nothing on any of them but coldplay translated into other languages.

that whole publishing division? it's coldplay.

this is a great example of a vapid piece of conjecture being passed and repassed as a news bite. EMI is a very large umbrella company that owns the rights to possibly millions of songs.

stock prices fluctuate because large holding companies see a good opportunity to make a quick buck. bad news? sell. good news, but not quite good enough? sell.

c.layne · Post by **c.layne** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:26 pm

i really enjoyed (and still do) their first album. they're second one didn't do much for me.

oh, and travis was around before coldplay. but apparently they're now a coldplay spinoff. i actually remember coldplay being referred to as another travis when they first came around.

Ryan Rickenbach · Post by **Ryan Rickenbach** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:09 pm

Coldplay...

I have a hard time getting into bands. It took me a while to warm up to Radiohead, but once I did, it was some of the best music I had ever heard. Same with Elliott Smith, who is my all-time favorite musician. It took me a few months of forcing myself to listen before I began to love his songs.

I have tried it with Coldplay and everytime I listen to their songs I feel bored. Completely bored with the music. It is better than most of the emo crap that is out there, but it just doesn't interest me at all.

People are calling them the best rock band alive, and that makes me ill. They are not bad, but they're just not that great either. No where near the caliber of Led Zeppelin, Beatles or Rolling Stones. Coldplay=hype.

Southwest_Statistic · Post by **Southwest_Statistic** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:15 pm

Ryan Rickenbach wrote:It is better than most of the emo crap that is out there.

This might be a place for another thread, but are there any other SF! people who like emo/emocore? I hate the word Emo, but right now if I had to pick a genre that I listen to most, that would be the place what I listen to would fall under.

chucky · Post by **chucky** » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:46 pm

Southwest_Statistic wrote:
Ryan Rickenbach wrote:It is better than most of the emo crap that is out there.
This might be a place for another thread, but are there any other SF! people who like emo/emocore? I hate the word Emo, but right now if I had to pick a genre that I listen to most, that would be the place what I listen to would fall under.

Ditto. And actually, I enjoy some Coldplay stuff; but emo? Double-you-tee-eff mate!

Southwest_Statistic · Tue Jun 07, 2005 10:07 pm

I have assembled a 4 minute mp3 of some of my favorite songs, all of them within the emo genre.

http://www.brusscom.com/misc/emo_stuff.mp3

chucky · Post by **chucky** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:16 am

Southwest_Statistic wrote:I have assembled a 4 minute mp3 of some of my favorite songs, all of them within the emo genre.

http://www.brusscom.com/misc/emo_stuff.mp3

thanks. now that you've demonstrated how awesome you are. let me try..

Taking Back Sunday / Taking Back Sunday / not sure what that third one is / Dashboard (shudder) / Brand New / Brand New..

Okay, so that's mostly pretty good stuff; but I was hoping you'd've thrown in something better. Not that I want to argue over what is and isn't emo, because I honestly don't give a shit; but there's a lot better stuff out there of this genre. Except I must admit; Brand New are hella-good.

Southwest_Statistic · Post by **Southwest_Statistic** » Wed Jun 08, 2005 4:36 am

Mainstream stuff. Hoping people had heard it before.