SOMESONGS - ROUND TWO

[Mr. White]

SOMESONGS - ROUND TWO

Title: Ephemeral
Oblique Strategy/Challenge: Change instrument roles
Send completed songs no later than 14 October at 23:59 EDT.
Send songs by email to somesongs2024@gmail.com.
Use "Ephemeral" as your subject.
In the body of the email, write your band name and paste the lyrics to your song.
Results will be posted no later than 17 October at 23:59 EDT. Fingers crossed.

Now go write SOME SONGS!

[BoffoYux]

I'll be hosting a dual SongFight/SomeSongs LP on Tuesday 10/15 at 8pm EST.
Drop in to chat with the artists if you're so inclined!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akNzCCyrQws

[frankie big face]

You can post lyrics here: viewtopic.php?p=234747#p234747

[Lunkhead]

Time's almost up! I'm excited to hear some songs, maybe some more songs than in the first round, even. Yay!

[Jefff]

Oops, didn't include a statement in my email. I think it's obvious I used the challenge. What's not obvious is that, except for the chorus, the instruments are played using the "wrong" controllers -- keys or electronic drums.

[mo]

Quick hit initial thoughts:

Micah Sommersmith: The 7/4 really helps emphasize the “ephemerality”, and the sort of Gregorian vibe and chantiness in the second half lend a sort of cosmic feel, so good on you there, that worked out pretty well IMO. My only real note is that I feel like this is more of a prologue that’s setting up another song afterwards than a great little song in and of itself. Which I guess is good, it makes me want to hear more and go on the next journey with you, but I don’t feel very compelled to listen to this again

The Idiot Kings: Heavy vibe, which I like a lot, and I like the take on obsolescence culture. My main note is that I personally would have preferred a softer delivery of the word “ephemeral,” it feels slightly over enunciated in a way that feels a little forced. I think it’s mostly the “phem” and “ral”, emphasized downbeats that for my taste don’t need to be hit so hard.

Hoblit: This feels even more like an interstitial bit of music than a song on its own to me. I might have to listen a few more times to really have good thoughts on it though.

Caravan Ray: I like the violent stylistic shifts as a musical way to describe ephemerality, and that sort of Prince-ish funk bit near the beginning is cool. This musical approach makes the fact that the lyrics are just like “hey impermanence is a thing” feel more appropriate and like a total artistic statement.

Add: this is such a fascinating bit of music to listen to, just hearing the way you changed roles of things. The chorus in particular I find pretty hooky, but the song does feel more like an experiment than an artistic statement that you’re fully behind, IMO.

Glenn Case: Glenn in Chains is always a good approach, and I like that you’re associating the idea of ephemerality with mortality and cue Sean Connery in the Untouchables “What are you prepared to do?” I think it could have been beneficial to do a bridge or an outro section or something that answers that question for yourself, like contrasting your engagement with doing something with your life vs your interlocutor wasting their life because they don’t understand “ephemerality”

Tomorrow: song notes:
ok so Evermind wrote a bunch of ideas and this time the bulk of the lyric crafting is my fault, so deliver your ire here. I knew I wanted to invert the instruments and show the change, and also I’ve had this passerelle bridge for a while now without having made a song with it—wrote some riffs, forgot them, etc. you know how it goes. So I figured I’d use it this time. The prologue section of the song also had that improvised bass solo, and so I stole little bits of the melody there for vocal melodies and the lead guitar at the end. The octave pedal guitar low part in the prologue also gets referenced in the bass part in the bridge. Obvs the song is about the ephemeral nature of Instagram life, and also how a relationship (that has also probably not gone very well) that you see in IG isn’t like the real thing you experience. Oh and the “I am burning while you blame me for the smell of ashes” is stolen from Dostoevsky, some days Fyodor really just went full Russian goth.

[frankie big face]

If SOMESONGS becomes the competition where people take all kinds of risks and produce challenging and risky songs, I am 100% okay with that. I think knowing there are no eliminations has led some of you to really strange and unique places. I love it. Nice collection of songs this week!

[Mr. Orange]

Beset with terrible cold. I was in the mood for sludge. You guys didn't disappoint

Tomorrow - Not sure about the muttering but I do like the first section. It gives the impression of the next bit being a lot more hardcore than it turns out to be, but no complaints about that, as it turns out to be very likeable. Makes me want to swing around with my arms outstretched (this is a good thing by the way). Excellently jolly vibe for a more serious lyric, which has a couple of stand-out phrases (nothing is certain except nothing is certain for instance sticks with me). Yeah, overall I like this a lot apart from a few minor structural complaints (the 'Chorus' doesn't stand out enough from the 'verses') and that muttering, which is probably my least favourite thing in the song. Not that there's anything wrong with the way it's pronounced or produced, just leaves me cold and its re-emergence makes me sigh audibly because I'm prissy like that!

Caravan Ray - I do like that bass tone very much. Thanks, Garageband I really like this one. It has a nice groove. I won't question the lyric much, except to ask what does the metaphor "It slips away, like /whispers lost in the break of day" actually mean? It's a bit overly and uneccessarily 'poetic' - how are whispers are lost in the break of day? And how is that like time slipping away? and why 'in' rather than 'at'? Perhaps something like 'dream thoughts' would capture the sense of what you're trying to say? Anyway I worry too much about these things, so no need to reply. The vote's already been cast, anyway

Glenn Close - I like the skanky groove of the verses very much but I am not sure if the arrangement doesn't detract from the melody, at least on headphones. Probably just me, don't put too much weight on it. The chorus phrase is ever so lyrically clumsy / jarring on to this ears. I do like the lead guitar wiggle out of the chorus very much. Abrupt ending suggests I wanted it to go on longer, which I guess is a good thing?

Hoblit - Love that foul bass sound. The riff could use a tiny bit more variety for being so far up in the mix. If I heard it in a club, I wouldn't be racing to the dancefloor, is all I'm saying. I actually do really enjoy this despite that rather dismissive attitude.

ADD - Nice groove. Vocal sounds lovely on the verses and the Farfisa organ that comes in the chorus is very welcome. If I was looking to criticize I would say the lyric is fine but doesn't really excite the mind much. Though I do like the spat out "Fleeting" sections. A quick question which i dont really want an answer to, did the thesaurus let you down at "Very Very temporary"? I actually like its stupid sound but I am sure you could have thought of a two syllable word meaning "temporary" to take out one of the "Very"s.

Idiot Kings - who knew slowdive/Ride/insert terrible Shoegaze band here were back in fashion (or ever were for that matter)? I think your voice sounds great here, the slight fraility really adds to the mood. The way you pronounce/drag out "Emphemeral" suggests undue importance to it (given what it means) but that's a minor concern. I was going to say "Who doesn't LOVE random whistling in a song?" but then realised it was just a keyboard. Which I also like, but can I suggest some whistling? Never yet spoiled any song I've heard, is all I'm saying.

Micah Sommersmith - I don't like accordion in many songs, so you're already on a loser with me! Positives - song's super perky, and the production is great. What I don't like - the slightly breathy vocal performance. It makes me feel uncomfortable to listen to. Overall OK!

[Caravan Ray]

I won't question the lyric much, except to ask what does the metaphor "It slips away, like /whispers lost in the break of day" actually mean?

It’s not a metaphor. It’s a simile

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/literary ... -metaphor/

[Mr. Orange]

I won't question the lyric much, except to ask what does the metaphor "It slips away, like /whispers lost in the break of day" actually mean?

It’s not a metaphor. It’s a simile

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/literary ... -metaphor/

My bad. Apologies! Put it down to the cold. It's not a very good simile, though, is it? ;P

[Hoblit]

Oops, didn't include a statement in my email. I think it's obvious I used the challenge. What's not obvious is that, except for the chorus, the instruments are played using the "wrong" controllers -- keys or electronic drums.

Mine should be pretty obvious too.

My voice in place of drums.
My 6 string electric guitar in place of bass.(pitch effect)
My 6 string electric guitar in place of synth patches (synth effect)
...and of course, life-dialog in place of singing.

Not that it should matter but this whole song was recorded outside of my home studio. I could even argue that it was all done on my dad's property in North Georgia but it's a stretch because the dialog was captured while in his truck, parked at a restaurant a few miles from there.

I'm a Pink Floyd fan and this was a song leaning into their early-soundtrack-years.

[mo]

[I'm a Pink Floyd fan and this was a song leaning into their early-soundtrack-years.

Yes but did you have a Pict grooving with several small furry animals? What compressor do you use for that?

[Mr. Blonde]

I liked this collection of songs a lot. Good job, everyone!

ADD - I think this song has more staying power for me than any of the others. It’s highly original and, if the challenge is responsible for that, then thank you very much Mr. Eno and Mr. Schmidt. I’m a little bit obsessed with and possessed by these vocal harmonies. They’re outside, man. But of course, the drums are kind of the star here. It’s like they’re trying unsuccessfully to bust their way out of a bubble and the resulting energy is riveting. Fascinating song.

Caravan Ray - Ah, a double dipper! Respect. I was intrigued by the spoken word opening and I enjoyed the lightness of your voice in the first verse. There are more colours here than we usually get from you, which I enjoyed. I also appreciate the ambition of pasting together the many parts that make up this song—that’s an atypical approach for songs written in a short amount of time, and actually gives each section it’s own "ephemeral" quality. But it also results in a lack of hookiness that doesn’t resonate much with me in the end.

Glenn Case - I like colors you generated by using your bass for the chords and the guitar string snare. And of course, who doesn’t like kazoo guitar solos? In my opinion, the chorus doesn’t deliver on the verses. Maybe it’s too melodically similar or just not melodic enough—I’m not sure—but there’s not enough there to hook me. Produced and performed well, but my overall impression was just Okay.

Hoblit - So these are recordings of people you actually know? That’s pretty amazing. These found recordings usually take years to acquire. You’ve got them right there in your truck! Those snippets reminded me of Cassadaga by Bright Eyes, which I really enjoy. Anyway, this song benefitted a lot from repeated listens and headphones (especially). It’s hard for me to get too excited about this kind of thing, but I thought it was solidly Okay.

The Idiot Kings - Good recovery after last week’s mediocre submission. I like the concept a lot (I have owned many of those things and I’m sure they’re floating in the ocean as we speak!) and the minimalist lyric suits the song. The performance is almost Good, but only earned an Okay from me. The vocal melody is already pretty dissonant, so when you sing it slightly out of tune, it begs for a do-over. I guess that half-verse works okay, but I wanted more. This is a solid song, though. I enjoyed it a lot.

Micah Sommersmith - This immediately strikes me as a lost Jethro Tull song. It’s like a 7/4 “Living in the Past.” I like that these song titles and challenges are bringing out some deep thanatological thoughts in you. I think… Maybe they’re not that deep. But they’re good! The only thing I don’t like about the song is the rhythmic “Ephemeral” at the end, but it’s nitpicking. And you definitely and explicitly “changed instrument roles” literally right before our eyes ears so good job with the challenge.

Tomorrow - This was a big step up from last week for this reviewer. The mantra section is interesting and, as you said, it establishes rhythm. But then that rhythm is abandoned for pretty straight-forward prog pop (I’m thinking Mike and the Mechanics). It’s not a bad song, but I’m not sure it benefits in any way from the “epilogue” and “prologue.” Solid performance throughout from everyone (I was mildly critical of the singing last round) and the production is solid.

[Caravan Ray]

I won't question the lyric much, except to ask what does the metaphor "It slips away, like /whispers lost in the break of day" actually mean?

It’s not a metaphor. It’s a simile

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/literary ... -metaphor/

My bad. Apologies! Put it down to the cold. It's not a very good simile, though, is it? ;P

If you want good similes you have to use the paid ChatGPT option.

[Hoblit]

I liked this collection of songs a lot. Good job, everyone!


Hoblit - So these are recordings of people you actually know? That’s pretty amazing. These found recordings usually take years to acquire. You’ve got them right there in your truck! Those snippets reminded me of Cassadaga by Bright Eyes, which I really enjoy. Anyway, this song benefitted a lot from repeated listens and headphones (especially). It’s hard for me to get too excited about this kind of thing, but I thought it was solidly Okay.

They are indeed, people I know.

The first person is my aunt Jacquie who talks about being born in Canada and her early childhood woes of migrating stateside. She felt like the little girl without a country.

The second is my wife, Robin with her lament about moving from place to place and how those transitions affect her emotionally.

The last is my dad talking about taking care of his dad in his last decade on behalf of the family and of his ... timely death. (That WWII vet made it to 96 before collapsing at a family member's house in Florida.)

So I'm a Bright Eyes fan and absolutely love Cassadaga, perhaps my favorite one. What's really interesting is tonight my wife and I listened to their latest album before I came in here (EDITED) and saw your post. She's a huge fan and got me into them when we met. So...neat!

And yeah, all of their albums seem to open with some type of dialog, so I can appreciate your appreciation. Thank you.