He won the election (Last day of free speech reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
posyden
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He won the election (Last day of free speech reviews)

Post by posyden »

good luck to all
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Post by furrypedro »

JM & TCI: Some of the elements are ok, I like the drums. but this suffers in the same way as yer last track. synth too loud, vox too quiet, and you don't switch it up for my liking.

Deaf sale: a bit of a knock off, the music and vox don't seem to gel enough, the perils of transatlantic recording (my inner audiophile kicks in - a little too late, most of the horrible fuzz is my fault). that said, some ok ideas, lyrics work.

Eequals: No, that's a hairbrush, the microphone is over there. If only we could see the dance moves to go with it.

Jacob Lynn: ooh, ominous. and then it ends. I'll be using this in my dystopian film soundtrack. if only i could sing along

noah mclaughlin: I was wondering when the folk'd kick in, protest song stylee. but this is not so much Dylan as the Calling, and they suck sooo bad. This would be a mile better if you weren't singing in the club style, hum-nph-frm-nemen-whooouuuuu-meshmergle.

pigPen: it's got a loungy-sleazy Tom waits kind of feel about it, only not as creepy as TW, vox seem a touch too weak but its really slight.

Seoup T Gei: Hey, this is kinda nice. I like wurlitzers and swirly noises. the voice doesn't fit amazingly but thats not really your fault and it's fairly strong (ooh apart from that high bit).

Wages: Not my thing, guitar sounds gash and the song is really uninteresting. get a band and write some more, your voice can carry it but there needs to be something else.

This is the weakest fight I've reviewed, looks like all the cool people went for We have the Technology. Seoup T and Jonas are my faves here.
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Post by nyjm »

jonas murdock et al (aka Damien Verret)??
--- bad tags ---
--- muddy vox ---
--- too many competing melodies ---
+++ drums +++

deaf sale
/// vox don't match the sonic universe of the music ///
--- unsteady vox ---
+++ guitar riffing +++
/// bass should do more than mirror the guitar ///

e equals
--- pops ---
--- too long for just the vox ---

jacob lynn
+++ organ +++
+++ jfk & mlk fades +++
+++ heartbeat +++
/// a good audio montage ///

noah mclaughlin
+++ fightmasters who indulge me! +++
/// chorus might be too long ///

pigpen
+++ bass walk +++
+++ rap +++
--- fiiiiiiiight ---

seoup t. gei
+++ atmosphere +++
+++ voices that fade in and out +++
+++ vocal tone and harmonies +++

the wages
--- vox/guit duet ---
--- hey! ---
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Post by j$ »

Jonas Murdoch - I've heard that chord progression from the 80s. Ouch! Nice voice buried under nasty over-maximised synth stuff. Nah, this is just larking about really. No real thought gone into the dynamics of this. Potentially very interesting once you've got a better grip on a) mixing b) mixing and c) mixing. And also song-writing :)

Deafsale - I thought you were called Deer Sale, which would be a more interesting concept. Again with the rough mixing. Again interesting potentially. Your voice sounds a little like Niveous'. Lyrically it could be him too. Only he wouldn't arrange it up as much. The more I listen on the more I like this, but it really is too harsh sonically, and not in a good way, just in thinking 'what the hell am I supposed to listen to here?' When the hiss is the lead instrument, it's usually not a good sign. But this is also great arrangement-wise, if you imagined it mixed down into the right places. So overall good.

Eequals - Ahhh. Someone write a song for this! Too long and unevolving for a vocal-only take but I find it charming none-the-less.

Jacob Lynn - nice slow opening. The arrival of the preacher sample is music cliche #456b. Continuing it through the song is #456c. OOh, look at me, I am sooo portentious.

Noah - nice folky protest song style thing. Thanks for not adding drums at the last moment :) Could do with a shaker or something though. A little long.

Pigpen - starts nicely enough. Don't really have any feelings about this, positive or negative.

Seoup T Gei - Nah, too slow for me.

Wages -- Damn it! Where is the Green Day style backing band???? This would have been a sure-fire vote-getter with something else than the 'guitarist having a go at singing while the rest of the band pop out for a beer' mood that an entire song of guy and electric guitar suggests.
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Post by Niveous »

j$ wrote: Deafsale - I thought you were called Deer Sale, which would be a more interesting concept. Again with the rough mixing. Again interesting potentially. Your voice sounds a little like Niveous'. Lyrically it could be him too. Only he wouldn't arrange it up as much. The more I listen on the more I like this, but it really is too harsh sonically, and not in a good way, just in thinking 'what the hell am I supposed to listen to here?' When the hiss is the lead instrument, it's usually not a good sign. But this is also great arrangement-wise, if you imagined it mixed down into the right places. So overall good.
I am half of a Deaf Sale along with Furry Pedro. It's a very odd tune, let me tell ya. The hiss was an odd thing. FP sent it to me with a good amount of that and then it disappears at the end so I figured it must be a part of the masterplan so I ran with it. I tried to weave a man vs. robot tale and used the hiss to represent the robots reign and when the robots are overcome, the song clears. Hey I tried. This song was super tough because it's essentially me trying to sing over a 3 minute guitar solo, but I'm all up for experimentation. In some places it worked. In some it didn't. Good fun either way.
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Post by j$ »

Aah, mystery solved. Well, I voted for it in the interim, so that's good. You got a new mic? Voice sounding a lot fuller and cleaner recording wise this time out.
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Post by Niveous »

Same old equipment, different PC, different house. Less hum, less white noise.
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Post by melvin »

Jonas Murdoch: Didn’t I review this track last week? Catchy keyboard programming is once more present, but the mix, especially relative to the vocal, is once more confounding. Please try again.

Deafsale: Excellent Trash Assembly Production, if I may coin a phrase. I like this. Instrumentally, at least. The sounds and arrangement are certifiably Neat-o!

Eequals: Did you sing this into your answering machine, totally ad-lib? If so, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard in my life. If not, it’s still pretty charming, though I wonder why it’s not around half as long.

Jacob Lynn: Warbling key sounds are cool, cheesy dialogue samples are really not.

Noah McLaughlin: I like some of the melodic and harmonic aspects of this, but I just can’t listen to super-earnest folk music without feeling like I’m going to puke. Or fall asleep. Or fall asleep with vomit all over my shirt. I don’t like to be so negative, so I perhaps I can soften the blow with that wonderfully useful term, “genre biasâ€
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Post by a bebop a rebop »

j$ wrote:Jacob Lynn - nice slow opening. The arrival of the preacher sample is music cliche #456b. Continuing it through the song is #456c. OOh, look at me, I am sooo portentious.
melvin wrote:Jacob Lynn: Warbling key sounds are cool, cheesy dialogue samples are really not.
Eh, I agree with you guys (this is Jacob Lynn, by the way). This was sort of in lieu of any actual creativity (or a mic). I'll try to resolve these particular issues by my next entry.
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Post by furrypedro »

Re: the hiss

I need to figure out a way to get rid of that cos I've got a choice of DI-ing the guitar which is clean but dull, and then doing it through the JCM which gives uber-tone but my soundcard can't deal with the level, hence the hiss.

I'd really like to go back and redo this track cause it's grown on me a lot since the 1st time I heard the vox, I was expecting a much doomier delivery from Niveous and the one you gave seems so full hope. The imagery you used was exactly what the track needed and I reckon it deserves a slightly less fuzz-laden production (If you wanna send your vocal track over I could try a clean up job; just for us, y'know). Sort that out and who knows, we could be a hit machine :o
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Post by Niveous »

Funny thing is, I don't have a track for it. What I did was essentially sing over your track and record it using Soundcapture. But I'd love to give this song a second try, just tell me what you need.
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Post by boltoph »

Like Phaedrus once said, there will be no grades in this class.

Jonas Murdock and The Child Inside
The intro hails as my favorite part. I still like some of the playful melodies on the keys after the intro and the vocals almost start getting good around "grey" and "a different day". Serious potential with a little feeling that's happy and sad all at the same time, thats the good shit when that can happen. This is wanting to be there but in terms of arrangement and production (what instruments to use, nuances of the instruments and the mix of instruments, esp.) Just my opinion. There's something good there.

Deaf Sale
This definitely warrants a few listens to really get into. If all the "blips" are intentional, I'm not sure if they work. I like the "stand on the edge of doubt". And then the chorus after. It's hard to hear the instruments. The lyric on "break our backs" and some of the lyrics around there are odd sounding. It wants to realize itself but the overall engineering problems are taking away from the potential. The drum parts are great, really creative, and the stops towards the end, some of the chord changes there, going some cool directions. The mix is just harsh, it's hard to get through it to the good parts of the song.

E =
It's really hard to get around that this needs to be written into a song with instruments or there just needs to be more there. I hear a melody on the vocal melody, the phrasing making it more chant-like, I think it could work on the phrasing on the "nothing to live for", hold out notes longer, unless you're going for an irish sort of feel and then I would still prefer more work on singing with more feeling and stretching out some of the notes, making more of a distinct change between parts. And some other instruments, sometime, maybe... I know means dictate the end, and such.

Jacob Lynn
This is so eerie and I want to see a remake of 1984, with some added stuff in the beginning about how we got there, and this would be in the scenes when it was the last day of free speech, which I'm thinking would have been the beginning. It's like wars then developed, the guy saying "let freedom ring" represents the fallout groups, rebellions, revolutionaries. Chilling.

Noah McLaughlin
My favorite part, forgetting the words on the last day. This is one of the first songs in this fight to really have that vocal theme and hook to it. The vocals sound a little overemotional I think, I'd have skipped the low double on the left, instead threw in a fatter harmony. I can't help thinking the one I want to hear is buried back there. I'm singing it

PiGPEN
I think rapping is a good call for this title, surprised there aren't more raps. Would've liked to hear a hardcore MC Hawkings rap, Smalltown Mike or some Public Enemy on this title, even Eminem or Frontalot. You should listen to them and work on your rap.

Wages
I like that you're painting a picture of a scene. The singing being off key kinda sucks but the idea is there, and you can belt it out good there, actually if there was compression and decent recording, your voice rocks pretty hard. This would be a kickass song if it had been developed. Ah, the challenge of writing and recording in a week.


- Seoup T. Gei
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Post by Damien Verrett (Jonas) »

Alright, I suppose I'll do a review this week.

Damien Verrett (me): I agree pretty much with what everyone's been saying. I'm not really that fond of this song, I like the tune but I didn't spend enough time on it and the same for the vocals. I'm going to have to turn down the instruments next time and sing louder and better. I like the drums though, that's probably my favorite part of the song

Deaf Sale: Really cool intro, everything feels really perfect together. I'm not sure about the vocals, they seem a little out of place at like 40 seconds in and a few other places, not really that bad though. I like the instruments a lot.

E Equals: The beggining sounds like it's being sung over a cell phone. Oh... that was the whole song. Well, the quality doesn't really give any clue whether you're good enough at singing to have a song without anything but your voice.

Jacob Lynn: Ok, this is really really awesome, with JFK in the background sounding super grainy then getting louder. Martin Luther King now, still cool, I hear the heartbeat. Now just the heartbeat. That was really cool, reminded me of something you'd hear in Half-Life 2. I was sorta waiting for it to pick up though.

Noah Mclaughlin: Pretty good voice. Not really my kind of music to know how to review very well though. I like when the second guitar comes in at 2:40.

PiGPEN: I like the beat. The lyrics aren't bad but your voice sounds a little bit bored.

Seoup T Gei: Cool, really mellow. I like the synthy stuff going on in the background and the keyboard is good. I like the voice further into the song but not as much at the beginning. This reminds me of some Radiohead stuff. The end is sorta... weird, but that's cool.

The Wages: The guitar sounds messy and it's off a few times, a little over distorted.
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review

Post by jeff robertson »

I'm guessing that most people were too busy with Christmas activities to put a lot of effort into songfight.

Damien Verret - what everybody else said.

Deaf Sale - The vocals have too much bass in them. At least to my ears they do. The music is well done. The hiss that you are concerned about is obviously at one with the clicks and pops, which are clearly there to provide a "scratched up LP" feel. Not sure if that's what you meant, but that's what it sounds like so it should be the story you stick with. Good songwriting. There are certain moments when the urgency of these lyrics demands that be screamed, but you just sing them.

E Equals - I like the song, would you be mad if I added an instrument or two and posted it on somesongs?

Jacob Lynn - would make good video game music.

Noah McLaughlin - The best-sounding entry this week. Probably the only song in this fight that I'd not be shocked to hear on a commercial FM radio station. Skip the background vocals: this deserves to be pure guy-and-guitar, not guitar and same-guy-overdubbed-three-times.

Pigpen - maybe we should collaborate.

Seouptgei - This is some well done stuff here. This is the sort of music that I listen to to put myself to sleep. I mean that in the best possible way. I used to listen to "Kid A" every night. And before that, classical music. Hey.. I've just put you in the same league with Radiohead and Beethoven. Not quite, but good.

Wages - man. that guitar tone is nasss-tee. I personally don't mind it, but I have a feeling that I am probably the only one.
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Post by Caravan Ray »

JACOBLYNN: Not really my cup of tea - but I liked this. Very eerie sounding - pretty cool

PIGPEN: Pretty good. I like the bass - and you use your vocals well over it. I can't understand a word you're saying though - maybe that's a good thing. Needs some noisy feedback-y guitars over the top (everything needs noisy feedback-y guitars over the top)

DEAFSALE: This grows on you - not bad - messy as buggery - but very interesting

SOEUPTGEI: Nice vox - but not really grabbing me as a song

NOAHMCLAUGHLIN: I can't understand your lyrics at all - needs clearer enunciation - as such - I'm losing interest quickly.

DAMIANVERRETT: I don't like this at all.

E=: Isn't this a borrowed melody? Can't put my finger on it. I'm thinking something awful from the 80s - "We Built This City"?? - No - that's not it, but something equally bad. Possibly Canadian. I'm thinking perms and tight trousers - and men called 'Randy'.

THEWAGES: Good voice. Bad song. Really bad guitar.


Not a great fight. Comes down to either Pigpen, Jacob or Deafsale. I think I'll go Pigpen
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Post by Wages »

Me (Wages): I know, I know! The guitar tone is a *little off*. :( I currently don't have an amp and the distortion pedal is not playing fair. Yeah, that's the ticket! ;) If anyone is interested in laying down drums/bass, send me the tracks and I'll re-record the guitar/vox to go with. Say Levee....
+ Um, I managed to get it recorded (it took over 40 takes to get this)!
- guitar distortion, no drums, no bass
= should have come up with something that sounds good ala guitar/vox only as this is all I can do

Damien Verrett
+ different
- heavy video game sound
= not my cup o' tea

Deafsale
+ the music in general is cool
- voice needs some work
= a decent amateur entry, better than mine!

Eequals
+ I can hear a decent melody in there
- poor recording quality (I've been there; oh I still am :))
= Get someone to add music

Jacob Lynn
+ moody, nice sound
- *good* demo quality sound, needs finishing (minor!)
= a nice tune that would get my vote if it weren't for Seoup! (EDIT: I wanted to point out that I'm also putting your tune in my permanent MP3 collection!)

Noah McLaughlin
+ I like the harmonies, clean recording
- songs sound like what I tried to sound like 6 years ago
= overall, it's fine coffee shop music, but not my cup o' jo

Seoup T. Gei
+ great sound, great prod. value, a song that is going on my MP3 hard drive!
- none...cept that weird ending...feel like I'm at Sotheby's
= We have a winner! In fact, I will be amazed if you don't win!

PiGPEN
+ I like the bass and drums. I also like what you are trying to do with the chorus, though ....
- seems like your rap is "holding back", let loose! It actually sounds like you are recording at 3am with the parents on the other side of the wall and you don't want them to hear you so you are trying to fully rap/sing, but instead it's more like you are talking.
= There is something good in here, but let loose!

Thanks for all the helpful reviews! GREAT job Seoup!
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Post by PiGPEN »

wages wrote: PiGPEN
+ I like the bass and drums. I also like what you are trying to do with the chorus, though ....
- seems like your rap is "holding back", let loose! It actually sounds like you are recording at 3am with the parents on the other side of the wall and you don't want them to hear you so you are trying to fully rap/sing, but instead it's more like you are talking.
= There is something good in here, but let loose!
Its actually more like 3pm and i was prety loud...as loud as i can be going at the speed i was (and im no busta rhymes so...) its just my mic is crappish. I should be ordering something better soon. This is the first song i did with my newly aquired Reason and people seem to instantly like the music better. Quality is important.
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Post by a bebop a rebop »

jonas murdock etc. - sounds like my early efforts. No offense there (um, I think), just keep making more music and playing with all the settings and checking out plugins online and you'll find more stuff that works. OK, I retract, this sounds better than my early stuff. The voice, again, is buried way too low in the mix, and the percussion, while a pretty cool beat, sounds like a toybox. Same goes for the synth lines. I honestly like this song quite a bit, it's catchy and musically it changes up enough, I just think it could be improved to listenability with a bit more practice on the mixing/effects side of things.

deafsale - That voice turns me off... not necessarily the voice exactly, just its place in the mix. It sounds... maybe... under-produced, for this style of music? I'm not sure, I haven't done much at all with vocals myself, it just sounds out-of-place and a bit restrained. Sometimes it's too quiet and sometimes it sticks out too much. Everything else sounds pretty big and impressive and distant, and the voice sounds like a guy sitting at a computer desk. Anyway, I like the music some.

e equals - kinda interesting. The clipping is kinda annoying and this song just isn't my thing at all. Doesn't go anywhere, this is just too repetitive for the vocals alone.

jacob lynn - me.

noah mclaughlin - sounds just fine. Those other two vocal tracks are kind of annoying and sound inappropriate for the song, especially the lower voice. Didn't really care for it.

pigpen - I don't care for the confrontational gangsta-whatever lyrics at all but I do actually like your delivery. I don't like that singing at all, it could have been a neat effect except for your choice of notes and almost was anyway. A fine track, except I hate your lyrics.

seoup t. gei - very pretty. I like how your vocals fit in the mix and I like your singing voice. And wow, I really like where this song goes. That's creepy as hell.

wages - the voice and the guitar playing don't jive at all. Your voice sounds to me like you need a much bigger and louder and more powerful band behind you, to keep up with you and to cover up the rough edges. And the guitar just kinda sits there the entire time.

Seoup definitely gets my vote.
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Post by Wages »

PiGPEN wrote: Its actually more like 3pm and i was prety loud...as loud as i can be going at the speed i was (and im no busta rhymes so...) its just my mic is crappish. I should be ordering something better soon. This is the first song i did with my newly aquired Reason and people seem to instantly like the music better. Quality is important.
I definitely understand the crappy equipment angle. I still need to get an AMP, a pre-amp, a bass, a better acoustic, a band, some talent.... in any event, I try to be constructive in my criticism. I've learned a lot, but still need to learn more. Keep on playin'!
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Post by tonetripper »

Haven't heard the whole fight but got to say that that Seoup T. Gei track really leaves me hanging in the best of ways. Like it's on the tip of your tongue. Cool take on the title.

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Re: review

Post by emilyrose »

jeff robertson wrote:
E Equals - I like the song, would you be mad if I added an instrument or two and posted it on somesongs?
Go ahead and do it. :) If there's anything you want to ask me about how you should make the song, email me at twistedechoes@gmail.com. I would also like you to email me to let me know how to find the song when it's done.
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Post by WeaselSlayer »

Luke here with B, the man with the B-rain here doing reviews like motherFUCKERS:

The Wages:
L - did the band quit before you got onstage? And were you the bassist? And so the singer quit? And he was also the lyricist?
B - Ohhhh my god. Ridiculous.
L - That’s all you have to say?
B - Yes... I dunno, I feel like I want to give him a gold star for putting himself out there.
L - Sans backup band. Wait, isn’t this The Wages plural?

E Equals:
B - This is what Wage’s backup band decided to do.
L - Yeah, we’ve found the vocalist.
B - She left all the instruments with him.
L - Maybe Wage called his girlfriend and was like “hey, make shit up.â€
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