Here in my Van I can write my reviews (In the Van Reviews)

[ken]

Van by the Descendents

Here in my van
I can beat my small cock
Fart on your face
Sleep on a loaf
Here in my can
I can piss in a cup
Scrounge for some change
Do what I want
I can lose

Here in my van
I can eat my small squid
Dance the can-can
With my feet in the air
Here in my can
I can play the Last tape
Play my small uke
Write stupid songs
Like this one

Haven't slept in days, but that's OK.
Gonna let 'er eat
Cat pizza road apples coffee shun Vivarin
Have a little snack
Put in a quarter and play road rally
Driving sown the dark corridor
Fall asleep and wake up in another place

Here in my can
I can hate everyone

Wait for no girls to call me in the middle of the night
Here in my van
I can lose my small mind

[fodroy]

IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

[Stubby Phillips]

Van by the Descendents:

Here in my van
I can beat my small cock
Fart on your face
Sleep on a loaf
In my van

I can totally hear this to "Cars" by Gary Neuman.

[Eric Y.]

funny, in my head it sounded more like "here in your bedroom" by goldfinger.

[Bjam]

Space Dust
Uh. I don’t quite know what this is. It’s not bad, I think, but I don’t know if it’s good. Really I just don’t know.

RattPoizon
Um. Very tango-y. The music is pleasant, the growly voice is a little apocalyptic, but it’s not bad. I can’t quite understand what’s being sung, and the music is a little repetitive.

Melvin
The beginning sounds cheesy and terrible, what the hell is this? I think this is one song where the standard pop-rock formula doesn’t work so well. It’s all a little formulaic. The drums are all “bash bash bash bash pause fill bash bash bash bash pause fillâ€

[WeaselSlayer]

Space Dust: Shut the fuck up, this kind of "tee hee pimp culture" bullshit is tired, old fucking news.

Bjamplatasaurus: I just watched Crybaby the other day so I’m totally in this mood. This is actually all kinds of rad. Bjam’s voice turns out to be great for a full band sound, this reminds me of like Mary Lou Lord, really fun sunny pop. Great job!

Anarchy in the KKK: Thanks to Dan on this one, I had fun doing this and almost blew out my voice doing (unpunk alert) multiple takes trying to get the vocals not to suck. Rhythm and I don’t get along.

Booty Chesterfield: Technical difficulties, frownnn.

Finding Nemoy: This is really charming, even though at first I wanted to hate it. I sort of hate it anyway though because it reminds me of who I used to be. But still, silly and pretty and indie.

Manhatten Glutton: Um, is this The Presidents of the USA? Pretty cool vocal/guitar arrangement but the percussion leaves me a little “eh.â€

[Paco Del Stinko]

I enjoyed all of these songs for at least something. Interesting that many were short although that is not a complaint, merely an observation.

Anarchy In The KKK - I like the rawness of the song and its attitude but it might've packed a bigger punch if it were a bit tighter. Fun.

Any Ideas - Should the center vocal come up or is it enough being weird where it is? Does that squealy voice mean that this is a family van? Who's driving? Is someone wretching out the window?

Bjamaplatasaurus - I don't remember this one from Grease. I like the instrumentation but might like it lighter - I don't want to say thinner, or wimpier by any means but...lighter. Pleasant.

*Booty Chest -I ilke how it doesn't feel as though it needs a bridge or breakdown, but that might've worked too. Great walking rhtyhm. Do people still display those bumber stickers?

Finding Nemoy - Great idie-pop song. I like the lines about the gum and was "oh no" until she said it was OK. Nice, and sweet.

Hillbilly - A bit mumbly at times and as I was getting involved with the story, it ended. Nice instruments and playing.

Jacob Lynn - Dense but not too syrupy. I don't know if it's safe to get in the van but the lure may be too strong too resist. Some of it could be cleaned up, sonically, but I love the slo-mo cyclone feel.

Level Nivelo - Couple of spots might need buffing but this is a nice little love song. I like the private feel to it and enjoy the transition into the bridge.

Mahatton Glutton - I was waiting for a knockout drums and electric punch, but I enjoy the easy-going rhythm. What if this were done as dark and paranoid? Scary.

Melvin - Good layering and melody, but perhaps a funkified and even looser version might gel better with the vocals. Fine playing and singing.

Ratt Poizon - The only thing missing here is a high, wailing, far-off Spanishy-Tarzan yell. I like the loosey-goosey percussion.

Spacedust - I like the low-key groove but am not thrilled with the vocals. Maybe if they were all over the top. Feels a bit incomplete.

Thanks for sharing and good luck to all! Paco will vote by secret ballot before the deadline. Tchus!

* This was edited in after I was able to play it.

[Manhattan Glutton]

Anarchy in the KKK
This is good for a live take... it is a fairly live take, right? It's definitely got energy. It's slightly too anarchistic for my taste, but I do like it.

Any Ideas
Fruity Loops, right? Hahah. Certainly sounds like too much cocaine and not enough acid. Funny stuff. I wonder how it would sound with better instrumentation...

Bjamaplatasaurus
This wins the most solid entry.

Booty Chesterfield Trio
Why did I have to rename this to .zip and extract the mp3, and why is the mp3 320 kbps? Decent song, but the vocals are too muddled and it definitely should not be almost 5 minutes long.

Finding Nemoy
This is my favorite. lol. The vocals are very clear and I like the unique vocal style. The lyrics rule. Was the guitar recorded at the same time?

Hillbilly
This is a cool song, but the guitar could use some tone improvement/volume adjustment.

Jacob Lynn
Okay, too much acid. I like this, but it sounds like an intermediate track on an album.

Level Nivelo
Cute silly little love song. Aside from production nitpicks, it's nice.

Manhattan Glutton
What

Melvin
The more I listen to it, the more I agree with Bjam. It's a nice song, but it seems a bit cliche.

RattPoizon
Everything's perfect except the vocals. What on earth?

Space Dust
The music sounds like it's from an old video game, not that that's bad. The first voice gets a bit annoying after awhile, although amusing at the start. The second voice, not very clear. I like the random sound effects/interjections.

[Ratt Poizon]

Anarchy in the KKK
hmm... I thought this was going to really rock out with all that feedback. I hope you inteded it to sound like this. pretty cool.

A Knee Ideas
starts off pretty cool. perhaps I should put my headphones on. there we go. sounds much better now. I like alcohol more than cocaine and acid. however I supose I've never tried them, nor do I want to. I like this song.

bjamaplatassewwwruss
hmm... not really liking this so far. piano sounds good. guitar solo leaves me disappointed. not something I'd listen to. but the production sounds a-ok.

Finding Nemoy
blah. haha! I dated a girl with a beard once. seriously. the only girl I have ever dated for that matter. or had sex with. yes, I said it. but, hey! what are you going to do? screw it, right? she was ok, I supose.

Hillbilly
this is good. the production makes me want to poke twistyties through my eardrums though. nice job!

Jacob Lynn
interesting I guess. I like it now. I think it should have started with just the vocals and built up to everything one instrument/track at a time untill the end. it got kinda boring after a bit. but pretty cool.

lebelNibewo
I like it when the chime kicks in. this is ok, I supose. at least very fitting for the topic.

manhattan Glubbon
haah! I'm liking this already. nice fuckin' job! I was hoping everyone would use the words man and dan. I really enjoyed this!

Melbin
uh.. sounds good. I would certainly not listen to this under any other circumstance however. I like the backing vocals. quit making stuff that sounds like it should be on the radio station my mom listens to

CrapPoizon
haha! I'm great.

Space Doost
haha. I like this so far. alright! haha. you're such a turd.

Booby Chesterville Duet
yours didn't work, sorry

sorry if I wasn't very expressive. I'm in quite a "pissy" mood. I figured I should still participate though.

[blue]

the booty mp3 is purported to be fixed.

[Ratt Poizon]

HI! My name is Awesome, and I can count to potato!!! 8)

[john82]

i'll comment on the two tracks which i liked the most:

Anarchy in the KKK
i like it when recordings have a llive feeling to them - but this is abit too raw...

Bjamaplatasaurus
i don't know what the hell the song name is supposed to be, i liked this track, kind of weird. nice piano part.

Johnny from guitars101