A Woman on Paper

[Nigel (spOOn) Clements]

A Woman on Paper by spOOn.

She's just a woman on paper
Another picture in a magazine
Another star of pornography
To fulfil your fantasies

She's always there when you need her
Stuck between the pages
Oh your sad little existence
How you satisfy your urges

A woman on paper just for men
They never understand 'cause they are men
A woman on paper just for men
How pathetic they are just men
x2

She's just a woman on paper
Another sexual distraction
Overly inflated beyond your wildest dreams
To distract you from your frustration

She's always ready to provide you
With everything that you always need
Never says yes or no to your every demand
Of degradation by your hand

A woman on paper just for men
They never understand 'cause they are men
A woman on paper just for men
How pathetic they are just men
x4

[Caravan Ray]

A Woman On Paper
- Caravan Ray

If you've got a dirty woman, better put her on some paper or she'll leave a nasty stain on your soft furnishings
But with adequate preperation, a dirty woman can be a whole lot of fun.

And if you've got a glass coffee table, cover it with plastic before you let a dirty woman sit on it nude,
Otherwise next time the Bishop comes around for tea and biscuits things might seen a little weird.

Keep your diamonds, keep your pearls
I only want those dirty, dirty girls
Yeah keep your diamonds, keep your pearls
I only want those dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty girls

Dirty women
Dirty women
Dirty, dirty, dirty women

They do it doggy style
They do it froggy style
They do it dolphin, monkey, lizard and wart-hoggy style
They do the French Kiss
The Swedish Icicle
The Sausage Sandwich
And the Dutchman's Bicycle

dirty girls, dirty girls

[MC Eric B]

A Woman On Paper - by MC Eric B
=========================

I got me a girl
we're as tight as can be
but there's something a little unusual
about her personality

She's no typical chick
not into girly stuff
other women all fear her
'cause she comes off tough

As a kid she was a tomboy
always full of dirt and grime
she loved playing sports
at recess time

Some learned to cook
but she took shop
some hung at the mall
she worked at a truck stop

She wears no makeup
there's no dye in her hair
doesn't even own one sexy pair
of underwear

but she's my little baby
and I'm a happy guy
It's like Cupid shot his arrow
and hit a bullseye

Chorus
=========================

Even though she's a woman on paper
she thinks just like a man
she's my lover and very best buddy
I'm her super duper number one fan

====================================

she's a woman on paper
but acts like a man
she loves to read magazines
while she's on the can

She rules the poker table
while smoking a cigar
and whips out a wrench
when there's trouble with her car

She can throw a punch
and kick some ass
she chugs straight from the bottle
never uses a glass

she can re-grout your tiles
while blasting Metallica or Korn
She hates foreign movies
and loves to watch porn

Being with her makes me happy
feel my increased heart rate
now my life is complete
I finally found a soul mate

Chorus
=========================

Even though she's a woman on paper
she thinks just like a man
She's my lover and very best buddy
I'm her super duper number one fan

=====================================

She acts like a man
but she's a woman on paper
when she lets loose a fart
I almost die from the vapor

She scratches her crotch
and picks her nose
her closet is full of
androgynous clothes

While watching football
she pounds down the brews
and after having sex
she always takes a snooze

She hates to dance
and won't ask for directions
gets bored at museums
prefers beer can collections

Her brain is male
but her body's another gender
like her DNA got mixed in
a chromosomal blender

Chorus

==========================

'Cause she's a woman on paper
only a woman on paper
ya, just a woman on paper

============================

For more songs by MC Eric B visit <A HREF="http://www.nerdcoresongs.com">NerdcoreSongs.com</a>

[EightLeggedOedipus]

A Woman On Paper
By Eight Legged Oedipus
(C) 2007 Pure Greed Records

A woman on paper but an alligator to us
Is it strange enough -- your taste for blood?
So dangerous
You are dangerous

A woman on paper but a litigator to us
You played our trust
You played our trust
Defending what?
Defending a friendless existence distinguished by victims

No wonder your sons are scared
Understanding, but unprepared
'Cause there's more out there
And you still declare
There's clarity when you bury me

A woman on paper hates every emotional state
It's serious
A conspiracist she becomes -- a fearless one

"Some giants from outer space", she relates,
"Thrive today as heads of state"
"They dine away on vaginas saved for ages and ages"

Hmmm mm mm

A woman on paper but a stranger to the rest of us
So I'll just
Wait, wait, wait, wait
'Til we put you away

[MintyHandy]

A Woman On Paper
by Minty Handy

---

[removed by author]

[SteveHandPuppet]

Woman On Paper

by Steve Hand Puppet and His Poorly Considered Solo Effort

In Generation X into which I was born
We didn't have access to your internet porns
Curiosity kill the cat
But adolescent boys are curiouser that that

A little bit of knowledge, a lot of imagination
Not much else to rectify the situation
Nothing to satisfy your developing glands
Except a pile of art supplies and time on your hands

Woman on paper
Girdle with a taper
Wonderbra(tm) to shape her
That's what I'll draw

Crayon or marker
Pencil shade it darker
Pen to make it sharper
I just wish I could draw

Could become a habit, drawing pad a week
Hidden from you mother who'd like to sneak a peak
Too old for Hot Wheels(tm), too young for dating
Spending time inside, mastering your technique

Woman on paper
Girdle with a taper
Wonderbra(tm) to shape her
That's what I'll draw

Crayon or marker
Pencil shade it darker
Pen to make it sharper
I just wish I could draw

Once I saw a picture
[Do it yourself]
Once I saw a movie
[Do it yourself]
Drawing it from memory
[Do it yourself]
Got to draw it myself
[Woman on paper]

Once I saw a picture
[Do it yourself]

**** CHEESY CLICHE'D FAKE ENDING ****

Could become an artist but its threatening your sanity
Without some decent references you're doubting your accuracy
Exagerated and lifeless and it's causing you distress
Got to find out what's underneath that dress

Woman on paper
Girdle with a taper
Wonderbra(tm) to shape her
That's what I'll draw

Crayon or marker
Pencil shade it darker
Pen to make it sharper
I just wish I could draw

(a) Woman on paper
Girdle with a taper
Wonderbra(tm) to shape her
That's what I'll draw

(with a) Crayon or marker
Pencil shade it darker
Pen to make it sharper
I just wish I could draw

[Wish I could draw...]

[Ross]

Woman on Paper[/]
By Ross Durand

Lines on paper – a little bit of coal
Hangin’ on the walls like windows to a woman’s soul
Light and shadow – plain as can be
A woman put herself on paper for all of us to see

Glass and steel – they touch the sky
These eyesores look so different through an artist’s eye
Clouds and colors – an abstract lens
I thought it was a building, but it was you again.

There are no skyscrapers in Santa Fe
The sky comes right down to touch the ground anyway

Oil on canvas – a little bit of light
You tried to show me flowers through your artist’s sight
But I can’t seem ‘em any different than I do
But there’s a woman on paper so I guess I can see you

[Steve Durand]

A Woman On Paper


By Steve Durand


Well she's blond and tan and lean
On the glossy pages of a magazine
Promise on her glistening lips
The perfect contour of her hips

That picture's quite a sight
But it will never keep me warm at night
A woman on paper may be fine indeed
But a woman in the flesh is what I need

The airbrushed perfection of her skin
Reveals a body made for sin
Lying on a bed of lace
A look of rapture on her face

I know she'll never be
Anything more than a fantasy
A woman on paper may have sex appeal
But I need a woman who is real

You know I'd be a liar
If I said that I had no desire
But just because I took a look
You shouldn't treat me like a crook

You know I never stray from home
It's only my eyes that roam
A woman on paper caught my eye, that's true
But the woman that I really want is you

[king_arthur]

The only message that I get
From the stuff you're telling me
Is that I haven't got it yet.

Now I swear I'm not opposed
To happy ever afters,
But I guess that door is closed.

A woman on paper
Is a sweet mystery
A woman in practice
Is way beyond me.

You haven't kicked me out, no,
But it's pretty clear that
You'd be grateful if I'd go.

You're always wond'ring why
I'm so attracted to the girlies
In these magazines I buy.

It's that... (chorus)

And I know I'd be the villain
If we went on Dr. Phil, and
He'd be telling me these very same things.
And then he would turn to you
And tell you, "do what you gotta do;
You deserve way better
Than anything that this boy brings."

When we got married at the Luxor
I believed that I was up to
All that I was signing up for.

Was I absolutely blind,
Or were there undisclosed attachments
To those documents I signed?

(chorus)

[anti-m]

Woman on Paper
by anti-m

My dear we've spent a year of blindly kissing stamps
We've ink-sparred like two film noir stars or boxing champs
Disarming with our charming wit and turns of phrase
But don't mistake or raise the stakes or ask to meet me face to face

The space from dream to fact spans acres
Obscure I'm so lovely on paper

Flutter to the floor how I adore the postman's ring
Break the seal my senses reel my stuttered heart begins to sing
I write reflected light my words sail through the door
Oh my muse you'll never loose me even though I'm never yours

The space from dream to fact spans acres
Obscure I'm so lovely on paper

[Billy's Little Trip]

A Woman On Paper
Billy's Little Trip

Sixteen years old when she was born,
who would have thought then
That their lives would someday be one,
seventeen years on
Why should we have to explain our love,
that's what she would say
He would hold her tight,
and kiss her tears away
True love is so rare these days

Cradle robbing perverted creep,
Teenage jealousy
Little tramp, jail bait freak,
adult envy
Why should the law put an age on love,
that's what he would say
She would hold him tight, and with a little smile she'd say
True love is so rare these days

I know it now, I've heard them say that,
love is something heaven sent
Age, race or gender, it just doesn't matter
love is something heaven sent
He'd die for her, but she'd be killed by that,
some would say it's heaven sent
She would kill for him, but he would fry for that,
some would say it's heaven sent
Heaven sent (X3)

repeat the first verse
repeat the chorus

[irwin]

A Woman on Paper
Suckweasel

We met in high school
I played it real cool
I asked her out to the football game

Under the grandstands
We made our big plans
And things would never be the same

She took me by the hand and looked into my eyes
And then she said the thing that took me by surprise

"Let's get judicial
Make it official
I want you to be my only one"

So we went to the courthouse
But they threw us out
The judge said we were too young

Nobody's strong enough to tell her what she can't do
She told that judge "listen up, 'cause someday soon"

She'll be
A woman on paper
No you can't ever make her
No you won't ever change her mind

We asked our parents
If they'd declare us
Her daddy said no way

But they can't break us
We'll drive to Vegas
We climbed out her window and drove away

Under a giant glowing neon heart
An Elvis asked us, "'til death do you part?"

Now she's my
Woman on paper
And now I've made her
You know I've made her mine

They all said we'd never work it out
After all these years, baby there's no doubt

She's still my woman on paper
So happy I made her
So happy I made her mine