Anyone up for a little collab?

[wages]

TRUST ME!!!! For TEN LIES, I have avoided posting a super-crappy demo. I've been working on this one for a few days now and I think I have a fairly solid structure. I'm looking for drums (I have a loop in this demo that will work, but it's so monogamnaughtanous), bass, and suggestions. Of course, I wouldn't be sad to let someone re-work the guitar too (BLT or Paco?).

I'm also looking for comments pertaining to "pitch". In particular, I feel I've worked really hard on this track trying to hit the correct notes. So any thoughts or suggestions: mucho appreciato. I will, of course, be working on this until the deadline to improve it.

Here is what I have:
http://www.philwages.com/music/TenLies_ ... icdemo.mp3



Ten Lies by Wages

VERSE 1 (Am-C/A-C-Dm)
take me on your road
but hold back all your lies
in just moments I'll arrive
just to meet your next big lie

CHORUS 1 (F-Em-Am)
your ten lies is all I can stand
lined up like indiscretion
an unplanned plan to disband
ten lies on a mission

VERSE 2 (G-Am-C)
we had so many good times
before you turned into a cold hearted bitch
I went to your secret places,
but for all my following, you made the switch

BRIDGE (Dm-C x2, G, A)
I've had enough of your lies
each one that you canonize
your most dangerous game ends
as my new life begins

CHORUS

VERSE 3 (Am-C/A-C-Dm)
I have veared off your road
after the collision with your lies
in just moments I realized
I don't have to live with your lies

[Project-D]

I like the song except for the growly backup voice, It would sound better smoother and higher in my opinion (the backup vocals). The vocals do go out of tune in spots, but I don't think that detracts too much it kind of fits the character of the song. It seems your problems is not so much with hearing but production. It goes more out of tune when you get to the extremes of your range, especially the high range. If you move your voice forward and not so "throaty" when you get higher it will help. I'll also play some bass, if you still need it.