Gyutan at Prince's house (Purple Tongue)

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Gyutan at Prince's house (Purple Tongue)

Postby Albatross » Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:05 pm

Yum!
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Postby The Weakest Suit » Sat Mar 15, 2008 1:42 pm

my short little song was made using Jam Sessions DS for the guitar sounds, my new Micro BR 4-Track which is smaller than a Nintendo DS, and my regular microphone.
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Postby Reist » Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:54 pm

The Weakest Suit wrote:my short little song was made using Jam Sessions DS for the guitar sounds, my new Micro BR 4-Track which is smaller than a Nintendo DS, and my regular microphone.

I had a listen - it's a cool little tune. Good to see some creativity in the recording department.
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Postby Billy's Little Trip » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:34 pm

Steve Durand's song this week could easily be covered by the Dead Milkmen. I like it! :P
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Postby Ross » Mon Mar 17, 2008 11:41 pm

Purple Tongue Reviews

Seagulls Very hip sound to this, but overall the pepto bismol thing really makes this song not work for me. I guess it’s supposed to be humorous, but it doesn’t work that way, either. Your sounds and instinct for tune and structure are really good - but then I listened close to the word/music combo and you lose me. - ok-

capitalist I assume we’re talking about an akita here. I tried to listen past the mix, (which is pretty terrible). The song overall got a bit monotonous and if this is about a dog - it doesn’t quite work for me as the allegory it is supposed to work as. Quite repetitive, melodically, and not enough words or arrangement here to sustain it. - Ok-

Plain songs I guess this is supposed to be some sort of stylized world music. You pretty much lose me throughout, except for the musical style and roughly mideastern lyrics - ok-

swilongtongenre bias alert - I’m not a techno person. Pretty nice sonic change about halfway through. other wise nothing here for me - thanks for playing

Mr Imelman, etc Production issues aside - I don’t like this very much - the complex rhythms are to your credit, but they seem to be much for your their own sake. - Thanks for playing.

The Weakest Suit Too brief, but gesturing towards a believable song. I thought abut popsicles and such too (and my bro sort of went this route). in the end it souds ike half a song - but so far, best in the fight. - ok+

Steve Durand Some of the changes seem a bit forced, do you really need this many keys. pretty cute song. Pretty nice little guit solo - did you record it direct or mic-ed? Overall it kinda just bops by. More complete than Clubs, but I think I would have liked his whole song better....hmmm - good-

Paco del amazing papier mache guitar-o all the parts fit together admirably and yet they don’t quite conspire to deliver an effective song. (for me) ok+

So overall I found the fight only ok. My top 2 are Weakest Suit and Steve, but I thought my song was pretty good, too. not sure who I’ll vote for.
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Postby TheCapitalistYouth » Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:14 am

Ross wrote:capitalist I assume we’re talking about an akita here. I tried to listen past the mix, (which is pretty terrible). The song overall got a bit monotonous and if this is about a dog - it doesn’t quite work for me as the allegory it is supposed to work as. Quite repetitive, melodically, and not enough words or arrangement here to sustain it. - Ok-


The song isn't about a dog. It's about the character saying "I love you" when they actually don't. The tongue is personified as being separate from the rest of the character, and it's black and purple because it's bruised.

As way of explanation, not excuse, my hard drive was dead last week, so I was recording on analog 4 track instead of my computer. While I wouldn't classify it as pretty terrible, the mix could have been better because I had to bounce tracks, as well as record vocals/instruments to the same track simultaneously. I also found it harder because recording is part of the songwriting process for me, where I chop things up and move them around, but can't in the analog realm.

But enough of that. I'm going to try to do reviews later today.
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Postby PlainSongs » Tue Mar 18, 2008 9:31 am

The Capitalist Youth * Love the "It came to an edge... and jumped" line, lyrically and musically. And the banjo! Not so much the percussive cymbal-like thing that goes for most of the song; sounds a bit canned. Good vocals and lyrics, even if the latter get a bit hermetic (which doesn't help listening focus) further down the song.

Johnny Immelman &c. % Quite ok sounds but not too memorable by itself - sounds more like a snippet of a movie score. Not much about 'purple tongue' - might have been a 'green car' around the corner as well? Would be better in context.

Paco del Stinko § I really like how this goes just short of crazy. Nice guitar! with that little incongruous hook. And good drums. Cool instrumental part. Listening a 2nd time to get the lyrics. I still don't really, but no need. Neat song overall! Good outro.

Ross Durand µ Nice how clear this sounds. Though just slightly tinny. Fun lyrics. Reminding of kids' TV, not just "because it has animals", but because of the song.

Eagles/Seagulls ³ Fun with a light funk feel. Odd phrasing around Jägermeister. The transition to the bridge was a bit unconvincing but the transition back is cool :) Some really good vocals. Good song!

Steve Durand # Very crisp, tightly played, fun and laid-back. Enviable clarity! I'm almost but not quite missing some kind of grit. Kind of like a song for the parents of the kids your brother was singing to :)

Swillington ç The music's real fine, but the vocals are distractingly quiet/flimsy in the first half, as if you don't want the neighbours to hear. The beats and panning work really well for me though, quite enjoyable.

the Weakest Suit ^ Nice tune and lyrics. Good vocals, esp where you go "Girl...". Shame it's not longer; a part reminiscing the memories would have been cool, just instrumental or some stream-of-consciousness lyrics.


On my own song: I'm fond of it but it was too ambitious so it misses a lot: bass line, more distorted guitar, cymbals and, by Jove, rehearsed vocals and basic mixing. Still, finally made a oriental-ish tune, long due :^)
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Postby Ross » Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:04 am

TheCapitalistYouth wrote:
The song isn't about a dog. It's about the character saying "I love you" when they actually don't. The tongue is personified as being separate from the rest of the character, and it's black and purple because it's bruised.

As way of explanation, not excuse, my hard drive was dead last week, so I was recording on analog 4 track instead of my computer. While I wouldn't classify it as pretty terrible, the mix could have been better .


I'll have to take another listen.
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Postby Steve Durand » Tue Mar 18, 2008 5:52 pm

Ross wrote:
Steve Durand Some of the changes seem a bit forced, do you really need this many keys. pretty cute song. Pretty nice little guit solo - did you record it direct or mic-ed? Overall it kinda just bops by. More complete than Clubs, but I think I would have liked his whole song better....hmmm - good-



Not sure why it would sound forced. I didn't intentionally try to make key changes. That's just the way the song came to me.

I recorded the solo guitar direct in through my Zoom pedal.

Thanks for reviewing.
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Postby Ross » Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:03 pm

Steve Durand wrote:
Ross wrote:
Steve Durand Some of the changes seem a bit forced,



Not sure why it would sound forced. I didn't intentionally try to make key changes.


Perhaps "abrupt" would have been a better word. But the fact that it sounded abrupt to me made me think it sounded forced, that's all. I don't really mind it, but perhaps the transitions could have been smoothed out with a lick or something.
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Postby TheCapitalistYouth » Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:50 am

Seagulls On Sidewalk: 4/5
Really nice production. (although personally I don't like the vocal sound) Musically I think the song is good. I don't like the low voice parts that are inserted halfway through. I can't really get behind the pepto-bismol subject matter. It doesn't seem funny enough to be a "funny song," but some words just don't lend themselves to a "serious song," like "pepto-bismol."

Weakest Suit: 2/5
This is a nice song. It doesn't bother me that it's short.The way it's arranged works well, with a gradual build. I like the sound you got with the electric. The thing that detracts a lot for me is that the vocals are out of tune.

Paco del Stinko: 2/5
Vocals could go up a little at the beginning. Good guitar tone, catchy guitar parts. Would be nice to know what the lyrics are. I can't really understand/hear a lot of them. Vocals are out of tune.

Plain Songs for Doves & Tigers: 3/5
I can appreciate the Mediterranean vibe you have here, and I think I said before I like your singing style. Maybe it's just because the instrumentation is sparse, but it seems like your vocals jump all over the place, and I never really know what the chord structure is supposed to be. The big jumps between notes sound unpleasing to my ear. It's nice to have an unconventional song structure (compared to pop songs) but that also contributes to my confusion about where we are in the song.

Swilington: 4/5
Vocals are way too quiet/muffled. I like the distorted chopped up drums at the beginning. Interesting change in the middle of the song. I think both sections work well, although I'm not sure why they're together, because it almost seems like two different songs. Besides that and the quiet (slightly off) vocals, it seems like a very well put together song.

Johnny Imelman et al: 2/5
Record scratching? I like the keyboard you're using. Vocals are awful, both out of tune and poorly recorded. Sometimes I'm a sucker for the lo-fi feeling though, so I was really dissapointed when the vocals came in.

Ross Durand: 3/5
This is one of the few songs where it's immediately accessible what the lyrics are, and are about, which is good. Seconding the comment that it seems like a good children's song. The electric guitar seems to stick out a bit too much from the rest of the mix. Vocals were a little off, not as bad as some other songs, but just certain parts. The lines "every creature in the world" and "feed their young" in particular sounded bad to me.

Steve Durand: 3/5
The vocals sound kind of goofy in this song. Maybe it's a little too nasally? Enjoyable guitar solo. If the drums were further up in the mix I think it would give the song a little more oomph. While musically everything sounds very competent, I think the mix is too reminiscent of what you'd hear on a keyboard demo. Don't get me wrong, I think the music is ok, I'm saying the mix makes it come across as weak. Like Ross's song, the lyrics are easy to hear and understand, which is appreciated. They seem to lack some substance though. To me it comes across mostly as name dropping types of wine. I think it would help to have conflict, or development or tension. The summary of the song seems to be "We tried some wine the other day and it was nice." Which is good, but there needs to be a reason that a listener will be drawn into the song.


Not a very good fight this week. Probably in part due to the title. I don't know who I'm going to vote for. I tried putting scores out of 5 with my review this week, because sometimes I have a lot to say about something but I still like it, or vice versa. I was surprised to find the two I had ranked the highest I still wasn't that psyched about.
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Postby Paco Del Stinko » Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:21 am

TheCY wrote:Not a very good fight this week.
I have to agree. Some of my favorite artists are in here, and while nobody really sucked, the overall feel of the fight was kind of bleh. I obviously didn't do anything to brighten it up either, but it's not without it's bright spots. I'll do some reviews tomorrow, and post the lyrics today.
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Postby PlainSongs » Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:10 am

TheCapitalistYouth wrote:Not a very good fight this week. Probably in part due to the title.

I thought it was a pretty cool title. The image made me wonder: well what about that tongue? whose is it? why is it purple? Which can go all ways (as the fight shows). For e.g. 'Radio Ready' the theme seemed more restricted.

But maybe it also makes it harder to make a song.

TheCapitalistYouth wrote:Maybe it's just because the instrumentation is sparse, but it seems like your vocals jump all over the place, and I never really know what the chord structure is supposed to be.

I tried to play a bit with independence between vocals and guitar melody. There's sort of a most obvious and effortless way to sing along with a particular guitar line, but that can get dull. But I guess one has to balance smoothness and deviations. More instrumentation and rehearsing might make things more organized... or not.
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Postby TheCapitalistYouth » Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:51 am

PlainSongs wrote:
TheCapitalistYouth wrote:Not a very good fight this week. Probably in part due to the title.

I thought it was a pretty cool title. The image made me wonder: well what about that tongue? whose is it? why is it purple? Which can go all ways (as the fight shows). For e.g. 'Radio Ready' the theme seemed more restricted.

I guess I felt that it was hard to make a song based on "Purple Tongue" because I think having either of those words in a song is undesirable. If I'm writing a song normally there are certain words I won't use because I don't think they're consistent with the voice I'm trying to develop. But I went with "Purple Tongue" because I agree that "Radio Ready" seems more restrictive.
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Postby Paco Del Stinko » Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:27 am

The Capitalist Youth - I like the melody here even if it could afford to vary itself a bit on some lines. I kind of felt like the first couple of verses were leading up to a section that never came, like they were an extended intro. The song does build up nicely, and as soon as I was thinking that it might afford to build up even higher, it started deconstructing for the end. Same thing, I guess. Nice little tune not over cooked, and as far as I'm concerned, you get bonus points for using the 4-track. Ah, the good old days.

Johnny Immelman's Electric Starfruit Jamboree and Car-Wash - Sounds like a scratch pad or brief experiment for using something new in your recording set-up. I too like the synth sounds, but this could be included in the Pumpkin Buzzard C-sides collection. The record scratch made me think of a puppy, for some reason. Nice tones, incomplete experiment.

Paco del Stinko - I like the intro guitar sound and thought the snare sounded mostly decent as well. A moody mess. I posted the lyrics, but I don't see as how that'll make listening to the song any better.

Plain Songs for Doves & Tigers - I like the directions this takes off in, but occasionally thought it took off too many times. Maybe a little more adventurous than it need be, and it loses a bit of focus. So much happens in a short time. That's not a bad thing necessarily, but it leaves you hanging a couple of times like "how did I get here?" . I like the subtle accents that surface like the hint of electric and other harmonies. The lyrics are probably too smart for me as well, but that's not your fault. If you were trying to get me to not get excited when I see that you're in a fight, you've failed.

Ross Durand - I like the brief intro, like a goofy animal talking. This would work well with animated visuals although you paint them well as is. Pleasant and easy to listen to with the whole family, maybe that's the point. Sounds great and is well performed all around, it leaves you with a smile and then strolls away.

Seagulls On Sidewalk - Glen Campbell after the turn of the century. The beat keeps it moving, but think it might be too active, like you could afford to drop out a few kick drum hits. It feels better when it opens up at the bridge, but the fart sound really turned me off there. And I have nothing against fart sounds, in the right place. I like this but feel like I was tricked into listening to something I might not have wanted to, although I get that it's an inside joke. Nice ep/vibra/xylophone accents.

Steve Durand - I hate to make the TMBG comparisons, but this one is right on that mark. Somehow this story, which I enjoy, doesn't seem like it fits with this music somehow. Like the music should be about a hippo or something and the lyrics used with an acousticy song instead. However, I like the circuitous progressions and echo the nice guitar solo comments. Thanks for the tour, tough.

Swilington - Nice clouds racing by intro, the off key vocals aren't helped by the mostly unintelligible lyrics. Nice how the music opens up after a bit, maybe a softer drum sound would help there as it contrasts against the sweet synth sounds. Maybe fewer drum hits or the entire drum track through phase or something. I understand that you wouldn't want to lose them in the mix, but just a thought. Overall, I like where this goes, or wants to go.

The Weakest Suit - A nice little childhood memory song. The acoustic is almost too aggressive sounding, but the tremolo accents are very nice. You could pick on this for being short, but you probably said what you had to and moved on, and I think that it works here. I also understand where and how you recorded this, although that shouldn't matter. Nice enough, and if you ever wanted to flesh it out, you have a good starting point.

Yeah, I like the talent here, and wouldn't say that anything sucked, but nothing boldly leapt out and I'm afraid that this fight is overall kind of poopy in general tone. As mentioned elsewhere, I didn't help things out any with my icky addition, and want to state again that some of my faves are in this fight as well. Vote will probably go to The Capitalist Youth.
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Postby The Weakest Suit » Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:11 am

Reviews:

Plain Songs for Doves and Tigers – I love the second verse that starts out with just the drums and vocals. The guitar is also wonderful throughout. This is a very inventive entry, and I enjoyed it quite a bit. Minimal instrumentation works in this one.

Unknown – No artist listen in the tag. Sounds like a banjo in this one. I like the melody quite a bit, even though the vocals are off key in places. Please tag your entry next time. I would have voted for this one if you identified yourself.

Unknown – Another artist who didn’t take ten seconds to tag their mp3. This one is electronic sounding. Vocals are too low in the mix to understand. Sounds like an 8-bit video game in places. I like the transition into the keyboard, drums part, but vocals are still too low in the mix. I liked this one, but please turn up the vocals.

Ross Durand – This one grew on me. I usually don’t learn anything from songfight songs, but I learned a couple things from this one. It’s also catchier than it appears. I was humming this one throughout the week. I can see this being a great song for little kids.

Steve Durand – Another one that grew on me. In parts, it seems that the story details sometimes get in the way of the song. Maybe because the lyrics are complete sentences for the most part and I’m used to hearing more free-form lyrics. The tone of the guitar in the solo and the solo itself are great, and the song is a nice ride. It just feels a bit wordy in places.

Eagles on High – I like the accent you have and the effect on the vocals, which are also very well delivered. Actually, I like the whole song, but the artist on the mp3 tag does not match any artists on the songfight page for the song. This is the second song I would have considered voting for, but don’t know exactly which artist it is.

Paco del Stinko – This seems like it could be a very polarizing song. Either loved or hated. I loved it. I found it creative and interesting. Definitely one of a kind. I like it more with each listen.

Johnny Immelman – This seems to be a less serious number, so I’ll let the off-key vocals slide. I just didn’t find this very interesting. Sorry.

Liner Notes:

The Weakest Suit – Me. The Micro BR recorder has drum “demos” that are thirty seconds to minute in length and consist of intro/verse/fill/verse/fill/verse/fill/end. You can, of course, cut and paste any sections you want into as long a song as you want, but being that this is the first time I used this recorder, I selected a drum demo I liked. Then I hooked up the Nintendo DS with Jam Sessions and improvised some chords until I found a pattern I liked. After I recorded it, I recorded another track for the chorus using a “tremolo-ish” effect from the Micro BR that sounded cool to me at the time. The next day, I made up the lyrics/melody, and found that it was really hard to write a melody to this particular set of chords. I tried to sing it right for about an hour, constantly adjusting the lyrics to fit the structure but still retain the meaning I wanted to convey. A few years ago, I wrote a song called Sticky Popsicle Lips that conveys a similar sentiment (marrying a childhood friend and living in the town you grew up in your whole life). This song would be a suitable prequel to that one.

Conclusions: I really like one of the unknown artist songs, as well as the Paco, Doves + Tigers, and the Durand/Durand tunes. This is the smallest fight I have participated in.
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Postby Spud » Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:58 pm

get your votes in.

btw, those unknown artists DO have their names in the file names. I know, I put them there in some cases.
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Postby No Horse Town » Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:27 pm

might as well review these ones too:

The Capitalist Youth - hmm. it's ok. that banjo picky thing makes it better. i'm not sure if i like or dislike the "oh oh oh" part. y'know, maybe if the banjo picky thing built up/changed more, that might make a big improvement. it kinda carries the song for me... er, well, tries to carry it. almost? hm, not sure... this was ok. B-

Plain Songs For Doves And Tigers - really not my thing. it's hard to be objective... sorry, but this really kinda bugs me. i'm gonna assume that this is well-done enough for what it is, and give it a B for quality / D for me-appeal.

Johnny Immelman's Big Long Band Name - vocals way too fucking loud. i think i could maybe tolerate the offkey-ness if it wasn't so goddamn loud. the beginning had me thinking it might be a lot more fun than it is. after the scratchy thing, which was alright enough, it just drags and gets boring, which is kinda funny since the song is really pretty short. coming for my grandma? that's kinda cool, i guess. maybe. D+

Swilington - not feeling this one at first. the second half is better, but it's still not my thing. i won't hold the simple lyrics against you: it's kind of a bad title. actually, the lyrics at the end kinda give me a nice feeling. this grew on me over the course of the song... hmm. B

Ross Durand - ...this is creeping me out. traditional kids' music totally creeps me out. sorry. it's well done. i just get disturbing imagery in my head when i hear raffi-style stuff... i guess you must have nailed it! listening to the lyrics, i kinda think/hope it's a little sarcastic: blue eyes or a purple tongue don't really *do* anything.. so, yeah, tell all the kids they're special because you're obligated to make them feel good, yeah? cute. not a fun time for me. A for quality / negative 5 billion on the me-wanting-to-listen-to-it scale.

The Weakest Suit - short and sweet, and probably the *strongest* suit in this fight, for me. It's the only song I really kinda liked. Still not as good as some of the radio ready ones, tho. A-

Seagulls On Sidewalk - ouch, i hate this kinda stuff. sorry. sounds like a cell phone commercial or something. smiling plastic old navy ad? well, it's well done i guess. (how is it that it's purple, but then actually more a shade of gray?) uhhhh.... yeah, i think you achieved what you were going for, so here's something like a B+ for quality, but yeah, I can't stand this song. makes me wanna kill frat boys. F for listenability-for-me, but hey, you'll prolly buy and sell my ass someday, so what does it matter what I think?

Steve Durand - yeah.. I hated Sideways, and the whole cruising around sampling wines thing just kinda makes me wanna murder the middle aged middle class. Damn, this fight is bringing out the worst in me. I'm sorry, Steve. It's hard to be objective about it. I'm pretty sure you did a good job, though. The music's all A-OK at doin' what it's doin'. Maybe the vocals could have been a little less dorky? B+ quality / D- appeal. Man, I am feelin' this generation gap. Again, sorry. It is a kinda clever application of the title.

Paco Del Stinko
- i was worried when I heard the intro that it was gonna be a lot sissier/new-school-emo-er than it is. It's actually pretty cool. This is a close one.. but I like Weakest Suit's song better. Musically, this does more for me, but sometimes it does it kinda a little bit wrong. I didn't like the, uh.. darker?.. middle section much. First half of the song seemed stronger. Still, definitely pretty alright, and definitely 2nd place. A-

well, i guess it was a good fight considering the title was a major pain in the ass. Or something. Nah, Radio Ready was way better. Sorry to those of you I may have offended. Opinions and assholes and all that. Peace out, Gs.
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Postby Steve Durand » Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:04 pm

No Horse,
Good on you for doing reviews even though you weren't competing.

Thanks!
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"Seems to me this is the point of Songfight" - Max The Cat

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