Jewel of India -- Stucco Lobster Breadbox They call her the Jewel of India There are several reasons why She lived in East Bumble, Alaska Before moving to Mumbai She's married to a former cowhand Who rounded up the hosses And has song titles like "Ganesh Will Save Your Soul" And "Fool...

Missed the deadline. Oops. But, here are the lyrics I would have submitted. What kind of love are you looking for? As a pimp, I aim to please By offering the largest ho selection All free of venereal disease. Perhaps you want a nice Latina So you can wax it interracial. Or how about Jodi-- this clas...

Not sure as yet, but my guess is it'll be on the dirty side.

It must be hard as balls to be married To a military man One day you're living in Iraq The next you're moving to Japan You haven't spent more than 60 days In any given place Your passport's stamped so many times The ink obscures your haggard face Sometimes you get a lucky draw Like that quaint chate...

I liked "Late For Babies" by Paco Del Stinko.

And "Please Stop" by The Weakest Suit

"Ease Your Storm" -- Stucco Lobster Breadbox While solo one night in her college dorm Susan decided to ease the storm That had been raging all day deep in her loins. She emitted a few contented sighs As her fingers brushed past her inner thighs And emerged with the scent of rusty coins. An...

"Half Life"

Curium must be the element
Of which my sanity's comprised
Unstable from my birth
Now I'm wasting away before your eyes

My mental health's decaying
And at the rate it's breaking down
I've only ten more years
Before I'm asylum bound.

"Total Recall" kind of sucked But one part of it I dug Was how Mary's front and center Had an auxiliary milk jug I'm a big ol' fan of fun bags Even on a Martian whore And she had a nice pair of jubblies With bonus fifty percent more Like solitaire, had tri-peaks A trifecta of skin sacks He...

"Robot Ninja Zombie Bear" -- Stucco Lobster Breadbox While in Southwestern Alaska, you best watch your back Else you might fall prey to a stealth attack A sword to the head and your skull will shatter Revealing a smorgasbord of white and gray matter Chowin' down on human brain is what this...

Double Take -- Stucco Lobster Breadbox I do a double take I can't believe what I am seein' Across the street my brother's holding hands With a real-life human bein' Girls typically will not talk to him Without his Visa number first But they have fingers interlaced And she looks not a bit coerced. He...

The Breadbox will be in.

It's another incredibly lo-fi recording.

On the plus side? It clocks in at a whopping 1 minute 21 seconds.

So, even if you hate it, it's more of an auditory pin prick than extended sonic torture.

Hey, all! Thanks for the feedback. I would like to apologize for the sound quality on my entry, and a few more forthcoming. At this point, I've only got the microphone on our laptop to record with. So, I'll definitely sound far away and tinny... at least until I can move to a 4 track, or anything be...